Dear Diary…

Still a wonderful day now. Actually a couple shades less than wonderful now that the network is back up we are actually getting calls again, losers calling about not being able to print labels, and we haven’t even issued a systems are back up message, so they should just still think it’s related to the WAN problem. But no.

How does one become an expert on love? Is that something you can read a book on? Ann Landers for Dummies or something? I’d love to be able to give people surefire advice, but then I’m not the most experienced individual in the world.

Anyways, I wish I had more to go with that thought, but y’know, I just can’t think of anything else. Nothing that I could develop into fully formed thoughts. I’ve got about 3 or so friends going thru mini-crisis with their sig. others.

My roommate phitt just broke up with the psychobitch from across the hall. Her name was Melissa. She was cool at first. A sure fire hint she wasn’t all there was she and Phitt went to bed on the first night. (that was new years eve).

I wonder if every one of my new year’s eves are going to be plagued by this disorder. Last year this same exact thing happenned. I had a roomate, he met a girl at my new years eve party, they ‘fell in love’, got engaged 2 months later, and then broke up.

Warning to all future roomates of rizzn: you will probably have a relationship creation and breakup somewhere around the vicinity of new years. count on it.

Transitional paragraph. Talking about something else now.

Did you ever have someone ask you for help but they have the most annoying mannerisms and ways of talking to you that you can’t stop not wanting to help them? Well I have one of those people on the line right now. I want to hurt her in some way as to make her stop being so annoying. Like there’s a switch on her head that if I can punch it hard enough, she’ll stop it.

Whew! The urge to kill is now subsiding because I had her groove out to some hold music and that seemed to take the edge off her annoying-ness.

This is a note to you future techs or current techs of the world: This technique is a little known procedure, but really works when you have Johnny Asshole or Wendy Whineybutt on the line — Stick them on hold for a minute. It doesn’t matter why you stick them on hold to them. Tell them you’ve got to go research the problem. Tell them you’ve got to ask a supervisor. Don’t tell them anything at all, just say “Hold one sec, I’ll be right back.”

Usually when you come back, they are all happy, because they’ve been listening to that groovey music that is specially designed to send subliminal messages to the user that they have a superior product and that they need to calm down.

Plus, we all know that the music sux, so it’s a little bit punishment for being a dick.

Plus it gives you time to get up from your cube, walk to your neighbor, and tell them the user is ‘grooving out to hold music,’ come back, sit down and pick up the line.

Note to users of the world: When this happens to you, you know why now.

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: “Imbeciles. Speaking of which, Andrew, you fucking cro-mag. What the hell are you doing with a knife on the teflon pan? Teflon is a carcinogen, you asswipe. Use the plastic fucking spatula.” – lxpatterson