Dear Diary.

How are you this morning. I’m tired this morning. This morning I was really ready to go and get to work on time, like around 7:00, which gives me enough time to get to work, it’s just that I was truly lazy. I just wanted to lay down and smoke a cig. So I did.

I went over to my Girl’s house last night. I think her roommate is trying to butter her up for something, because she’s acting all domesticated. She took out the trash without badgering, she cooked dinner, a good one too. Steak and fresh veggies, sauteed mushrooms. It was nutz.

Not that I’m complaining.

Yesterday was weird. After I put in my last entry, I was kinda dozing in the cube waiting to go, and somebody woke me up, and I had a el ‘cid flashback; I hallucinated a spider on my hand. I kinda looked down at it shocked, blinked twice, and it went away. Weird deal.

Anyways, my Girl confuses me so much. I’m just going to give up figuring it out. She walked me out of the apartment last night and gave me the first good solid mushy kiss she’s given me in weeks. I wish I could peek in her head to figure out WTF is going on.

This is the last week we have Dorkimus Maximus Jarhead stupid boss. I think that tomorrow is his last day. Thankfully. Unfortunately, they promoted another dumb boss to replace him. He’s incredibly stupid, and for some reason thinks that all the other techs that work with him are as dumb as he actually is. And unfortunately, this dude has been with the company for years, and has no other promising job prospects, so he’ll be hanging around a while.

I soo hope that I get that promotion out of this dumb department.

Anyways, let’s see if I can remember some more stuff from the House of Neddin.

(imagine the Waynes World “Doodledoo” sound effects and wavy camera fade here)

December ’98

Oh yeah, this is December ’98. This is an easy month. Lots of crazy stuff happened here.

First couple weeks of December were uneventful. Courtney moved out, she finally couldn’t stand it anymore. We were just to male for her to live with. Travis and her were constantly arguing. I think that Travis was just pissed he couldn’t get any tail from her. She was pissed that tail was what he wanted. Plus we were a little messy.

But her and Big Nate still hung out all the time over there. And Larry developed a personality around us.

Larry was cool. He liked ICP (Insane Clown Posse), his psycho girlfriend, gettin action, picking up chicks at the mall, watching tv, and not his job. Favorite beer: Budweiser.

Larry moved in after Courtney moved out. Which was good, because Larry didn’t bitch about everything, paid rent, and had a steady job (he painted houses with his dad, (his dad’s biz)). He was a cool dude.

Larry too was a wrasslin’ fan (WCW). Every Thursday and Monday, it was wrasslin’ night.

One of the first things I bought when I moved into the house back in September was a 48″ Widescreen teevee. So everyone loved bein at my house. Plus, since where I worked (an ISP) got bought out by the cable company, I had a free cable hookup. (including a free cable modem! with a FULL 13megabit contract).

It was suweet.

But a little story about Larry.

Larry had this girlfriend before he moved in that was real real good to him, just that she was too clingy for Larry’s lifestyle. I can’t remember her name right now, but she was kinda like Larry in that she never really talked to us at all until we really got to know her well. But when I say that she was real good to him, she was real good to him. She would buy things for him constantly. Like a pager, celfone, a system for his truck. Crazy stuff.

Well, about a week after he moved in, his truck got raided. All the stuff was stolen out of it.

Larry broke up with her right before he moved in. But she was psycho, or at least that’s what Larry would tell us. She’d call him and page him and stuff all the time. Like 7 or 8 times a day. Always calling for him at the house. Get home, there’d be like 15 messages, mostly for Larry. It was nutz.

Well, about the first or second week of December, Travis tried to hook it up with a girl called Amy Vanderpool. Courtney introduced her to him. She was one of her friends from somewhere they worked together at. She was an ok girl that I knew from highschool, maybe a little bit of a slut (from rumors), but apparently she was a little psycho too. Travis dated her for about a week, until Amy discovered Larry, and pretty much dumped Travis so that she could date Larry.

Well, Larry was ok with that, since he was no longer tied down to a girl. After a one of our legendary Friday drinking parties, Amy was ready to jump in the sack with Larry, like the third night she knew him.

Larry walked into his room and there was Amy, under his covers, completely nude.

Amy’s not completely unattractive. In fact, she’s a nice looking girl. But she has a skin graft on her arm that seemed to turn Larry off immensely. He started giving Amy weird nick-names like “Rubbermaid” (because the arm felt like rubber to him), and “Suck-and-Drool Vanderpool” and stuff like that. Mean stuff.

But soon Amy earned her psycho reputation. Larry told Amy he really wasn’t interested. Amy didn’t take no for answer. She stalked him. And I do mean stalked him.

I remember one time when Amy called for Larry and Dewey answered the fone.

Dewey: “Hello?”

Amy: “Yes, this is Amy, is Larry there?”

Dewey: “Amy? I’m not sure if Larry is here or not.”

Wild gesturing ensued from Larry indicating he’s not there.

Amy: “Are you sure, I think his c.. I mean he told me to call him around now.”

Dewey: “No, I think he went out with Nate.”

Amy: “Do you know what car he took, because I see.. I mean… umm.. can you check to see if he’s there?”

Dewey: “Actually, I’m on the pot right now takin a power dump, I’m not sure exactly who’s here right now.”

Amy: “Ummm”

Dewey, of course being Dewey, had to prove his point by punctuating with a thunderous fart.

Amy: “Ok, I’ll call back.”

Dewey at that point runs up to the window and peeks out the blinds, then runs to the caller id.

“Larry, you have a stalker. She’s up at the end of the road in her car calling on her cel-fone,” deduced Dewey.

It continued like such for about another week, until Larry told her to stop coming over, he didn’t want to see her again, in a not so nice manner.

Up at work Wilhe got promoted to database admin, Van got promoted to Training Coordinator, leaving Jeff (different Jeff), Albert and I as the lone Network Technicians.

That continued for a couple weeks, and then I got demoted. It’s not something that I tell most people, because I’m quite ashamed of it. I was still kinda depressed at the time, I guess, so my job performance wasn’t up to par, I was a little too comfortable in my job, so these things contributed to the condition known as slack. At least that’s the only reasoning that I can think of.

Perhaps I was too close to the situation, so that I didn’t recognize the problems existing in my own performance. I mean I was doing things waaaay out of my job description. My workaholic nature dictated that Albert and I would sometimes stay up at work till 3 or 4 in the morning, dealing with network issues that would arise. I also wrote many programs that made network administration easier that I never was paid for. Just for the good of the comapany. I loved it that much.

I was literally crushed when I got demoted. I was sent back to fi

rst level call queue. That was the genesis of the idea in my mind to move to Dallas and get a real job paying real money.

I called my homey Ferrill, a boy of mine from back in my h4x0r days. He and I always concocted impossible schemes to get filthy rich and/or powerful. He was going to hook me up with a job up where he was doing serious net admin work.

But call it either laziness or dedication, I stayed with the company, and I was a reformed employee, I did nothing but work, didn’t even answer personal emails, seperated them out into personal and work.

It turned out that they were trying to groom me and reform me so that they could move me up to a higher management position. They just chose the wrong way to do it with me, because their move completely destroyed my morale. I was a crushed man.

And then came new years eve.

Now sadly, I missed one of the biggest parties in my House O’Neddin with the old crew that ever happened, but I’ve heard most of the stories that happenned, and I’ll try to relay them to you.

I had accepted an invitation to hang with homey Ferrill in Dallas for New Years Eve, and our night was an uneventful night of partying, drinking, network gaming, and Dick Clark.

The House, though, on the other hand, was one of the town’s biggest party spots.

Everyone who was anywone was there. I think the body count stacked into 60 or 70 or so. Upstairs, and down. There was more beer than could be possibly humanly consumed in a year there. And hard liquor! Boy howdy and stuff, much of it.

One of the highlights of the evening would have been Larry and Nate getting funky to Kid Rock’s Cowboy blasting on our stereo & sub … nothing like seeing someone that big get funky.

Larry had one of the floorlamps tipped over using it as a microphone, and it came out of the base, so he lifts it up, being the drunk biatch that he is, and slams it down.

Out go the lights, the music, the everything.

Larry had blown a fuse. One of the fuses that couldn’t be replaced because the company went out of biz in the great depression.

So what was the proper course of action for a bunch of drunks to do to fix the problem? Lick a penny, put it in the fuse box, of course!!

So in short order, the party was back underway.

Many monumental things happenned that night.

My roommate Dewey met the ‘Love of his Life’ that night. Alleged love of his life. More on that later, but it was a girl named Rachel.

My buddy Ryan (Jeff’s brother), got his first makeout session.

And my preacher’s daughter got drunk!

Fuggin great.

This is a story right here. Apparently, my roommate’s little sister and the preacher’s daughter Erin were looking for a party that night, as was everyone in the world. Well, they decided the place to get drunk was my house.

And plaster themselves they did. Erin, on alcohol, apparently is quite deadly, as she became the makeout machine. Kissing just about everyone there.

The impact of this was not felt until Dewey’s sister had an attack of conscious and told her mom about it. Which is when Dewey’s parents called us and told us we needed to call the preacher and apologize for having such a den of sin that anyone so innocent as Erin can walk in and become corrupted, etc, etc, ad infinatum, ad nauseum.

Next Episode: January 1999: A New Era for our Intrepid Hero.

Okay… I’m kinda in a hurry so I maybe left some stuff out, I’ll post edits and changes as I think of them, but now I’ve gotta go have lunch with the girl, be back as soon as I can.


Quote of the Entry:

“When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.”

— Edward Abbey

“It’s ok to love your dog, just not love your dog.”

— Crackbaby

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