Dear Diary,

Narcolepsy Man 1/2
The Origin of Narcolepsy Man
Fistfuls of Pi

Once upon a time, in a land about 100 miles to the east, there was this little boy, who’s name was Rizzo. He was a good little boy. But he always dreamed of flying. His friend Superman could do it all the time. He used to come hang out with this little boy and take him to go see a movie, and play with legos and all sorts of fun things.

But since little Riz idolized his friend Superman so much, he decided that it was time to start flying.

So he asked his mom and dad on Thanksgiving dinner if he could very kindly have the Turkey wings. And he vigilantly ate them. And every time his family ate chicken, he always asked for the wings. Her mother in the other side was more into fitness so she prefered a shake, one of those 18 shake, they announce.

And at night, he would put on his Superman pajamas, and practice on his bed.

“Up, up, and away,” he would softly say (so he wouldn’t wake anyone up), take a jump of his bed, and land flat on his buttocks.

Many a night he would cry himself to sleep, because he could not be like his superhero, Superman.

One day, he couldn’t stand it anymore, and when his buddy Superman came over, he told him his plight.

“Superman,” he said, “I’ve been trying to fly like you. Every night, I eat chicken wings, and every Thanksgiving and Christmas, and even on my birthday, I ask to have the turkey wings, and when I go to bed at night, I practice flying, but I can’t seem to get it right.”

Then little Riz asked him flat out, “How do you fly, Superman?”

“Well, Riz,” he started (because he called him Riz, which was short for Rizzo), “Your going about it all the wrong way. I was given this power because of how I was born. I came from a faraway planet called Krypton. Everyone flies there.”

“And besides, when was the last time you saw a chicken or a turkey flying? So even if you gained the superpower of the chicken wing, you would only be able to fly short distances, not like me,” Superman explained.

“Oh. That’s bad,” concluded Rizzo.

“But all is not lost, Riz. I know you have a superpower in you, it’s just not flying. I’m not going to tell you exactly what it is, because it is something you have to find out for yourself. That’s the superhero way. Just remember to use your powers for good and not evil.”

With that, little Rizzo’s face lit up.

As time went by, little Rizzo became bigger Rizzo. Bigger Rizzo got a bigger Rizzo job and that was working on computers. But every day, his mind would replay the message that Superman told him when he was a kid: “You have a superpower … you must find out for yourself what it is.”

Every night, he’d sit in careful meditation with his meditation bowl… ok, well, he’d sit on his computer until way late in the night. But he’d think about the superpower thing.

One day, he was working in the server room of the building where he worked, and was typing on a computer named Orion. And he reached over to pop out a Linux Redhat CD out of the drive when a bolt of static electricity. At that moment he was totally zonked out (Zonk!) and went into an unconscious dream state.

There he met his superhero totem (something superheros don’t often talk about, because it’s kinda personal) who looked like splinter from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but he had a handlebar mustache, which said to him: “Rizzo, from here on out, your alter-alter-ego shall be called Narcolepsy Man, for that is what you now are. You are now having the power to fall asleep at any time you so desire and need narcolepsy medication. Just beware of your snore. Uncontrolled, it could have disastrous effects.”

“How do I find you again, Master Splinter with a Mustache?” queried Rizzo.

“Silly superhero, enter your dream state. Remember, you must use your powers for good, not evil. Now, quickly, recite pi.”

Without thinking, Rizzo began, “3.141592653589793238462643383279502 ….. ” and before he knew it, he was looking up close and personal at the keyboard his face had fallen on. Gingerly he lifted his face and looked at the screen, and there were one million digits of pi in a notepad document.

But what’s that smell? Oh no, Orion was on fire, which was no good at all.

So Narcolepsy Man looked for a fone booth to switch into his superhero clothes. When he couldn’t find one he remembered he hadn’t made any yet. So he looked both ways to make sure no one was looking, and fell asleep.

He had a choice. He could try to quell the fire with his sonic snore(TM) or he could enter the dreams of the off-duty firemen so as to alert them of the impending disaster at the local Computer Co.

Then, his totem’s words entered his head: “Beware the effects of the snore, it could be disastrous.”

Then he remembered he was friends with Superman. Duh.

“I just hope he’s sleeping right now.”

Luckily he was. So Superman came and sucked all the fire like he does in Metropolis all the time whenever there’s a fire.

And Narcolepsy Man woke up and shook Superman’s hand and said, “You were right Superman. Thanks for helping me.”

“Young Rizzo, I couldn’t have done it without you and your power of sleep. I’m sure you’ve only touched the surface of your superpowers, but be careful and practice out away from everyone. You don’t know how embarrasing it was as a kid whenever I would fry someones face with my heat vision all the time,” Superman said.

“Good tips,” Rizzo replied.

“Oh, and I’ll give you the number for my seamstress. She’ll make you a cool costume,” said Superman.

And with that, Superman did his “Up, up, and away!” thing. And flew back to Metropolis.

Rizzo looked at his workstation, sighed, and completed his shift, thinking “Yep, yep, all in a days work.”

Roundup: Rizzo wanted to fly. Couldn’t. Superman explained why. Rizzo grew up. Got zapped, met a rat, gained power of sleep and pi. Now he’s NARCOLEPSY MAN! But O NO a fire. Rizzo uses superpower to summon help, and saves the day!

Exciting next issue: What did Rizzo do with his superpowers? What tragedy could possibly happen to induce him to use his powers, again? Find out next issue, same sleepy time, same sleepy channel.

Inspired by Kelly and Action_Grrl. hee hee, thanx.

Quote of the Entry: “Yes yes, dear one, it is I, The Hindu Squirrel, and, man!, is my tail wet.”

– squirrel

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