Dear Diary,

How are you. I’m thinkin us creative writer types should probably start a comic label, we got enough superheros to support one.

Speakin of comics, I just bought a bunch of them and left them in my car. Darnit. I was going to use a bunch of cool one liners from the new Deadpool. Deadpool’s m’boy, he’s so cool.

But the roundup of the comics, or superhero stories, I should say that are out there are as follows:The Continuing Adventures of Super Fast Kel and her Side Kick Action Grrl aka Almost Fast as Kel Michelle:
Episode 1 – by Action Grrl
Episode 2 – by Kel
Episode 3 – by Kel
Darwin City’s Rin:
Episode 1
Evil Cordelia
Episode 1
and of course … Narcolepsy Man: The Man of Pi
Episode 1/2
Episode 1

Narcolepsy Man: The Man of Pi
Prelude to Disaster
Featuring a crossover with just about all the dland superheros!

Rizzo, otherwise known in superhero circles only as Narcolepsy Man, was ambling down Commerce, in Downtown Dallas. He was mainly just enjoying his day off work, and was actually looking for this mysterious seamstress that Superman had recommended.

“Dum de dum,” he murmured to himself.

And up walked to him a particularly crackheaded crackhead. Living in the big city these past few years, Rizzo had learned how to spot a crackhead, because when he first moved here, he only had enough money for an apartment in the Ghetto. But the way to spot a crackhead is the way they always say:

“Yo man, can I get a dollah?” queried the crackhead.

Another way, is the fact that they usually have little or now whites left in their eyes, and the eyes are all brown. But we digress.

Rizzo thought to himself, “Before, whenever I think of the plight of crack in this city, I always thought that the problem was never going to be solved, but now that I have superpowers, I can finally do something about it.”

“But first I must get my costume,” he said.

He handed the crackhead a business card he made on his computer that had Narcolepsy Man’s name and logo on it, and pi on the back carried out to only the 500th digit. The crackhead looked at the card with bewilderment, but Rizzo ambled on.

After much determined searching, Rizzo finally did find the place he needed to be. It was a little hole in the wall shoppe, built into the side of a parking garage. “Superhero suits made while you wait.”

The old seamstress lady looked very kindly at Rizzo as he walked in. She looked like a gramma type person, could pass for Peter Parker’s Auntie. Rizzo explained his situation, that he was a new superhero and needed a really stunning superhero costume. He gave her the specifications that Superman had reccomended and she went into the back room and began working.

Rizzo looked around the lobby area of the shoppe while he waited, and a paper pinup caught his eye over in the corner, something pinned up on the bulletin board. It read: The First Annual Super Hero’s Charity Ball!!!
Black tie affair. Get to know your superhero neighbors, and have fun. RSVP. Etc.

“Hrmm,” Rizzo hrmms to himself, “I must attend this The First Annual Super Hero’s Charity Ball!!! If I’ve learned anything from collecting comics and hanging out with Superman all my life, its that some action will take place at this gathering.”

At about that time, out walked seamstress with his new uniform.

“Wow, that was quick!” exclaimed Rizzo.

“Of course, why do you think I do this. Every time Superman’s costume gets ripped (which isn’t very often, because I’m so good), he comes here all the way to Dallas, and doesn’t have to wait long for new one. And the prices are reasonable.”

“What a deal! I’ll reccomend you to all my superhero friends. By the way, do you know where I can get a tux for that The First Annual Super Hero’s Charity Ball!!!?” asked Rizzo.

“f course, if you check your bag, you’ll see I included a complimentary one in there. Hope you like the design. What do you think took so long?” replied Ms. Seamstress.

“Wow. Cool deal. Well I’m out.”

A superpower side-effect that Rizzo found out he had while practicing out in the woods by the lake at his house of his sleepyness was that when he went to sleep he could see people’s dreams. He found out when he went to sleep and could see his pet mouse Stuart dreaming. He went to take a closer look, and found himself awake next to Stuart’s cage.

So he figured when he needed to summon the power of Narcolepsy Man, all he had to do was find a park bench, or a bus bench or something instead of a phone booth like Superman.

So Rizzo did just that, went back to the park, fell asleep on the bench, and transported himself over to the apartment by way of his sleepy mouse Stuart. From there he slept (duh) until it was time to get ready to go the The First Annual Super Hero’s Charity Ball!!! Dressed up in his tux with his superhero outfit on underneath just in case things got crazy, he fell asleep in search of a security guard that had perhaps dozed on the job at the ball.

Luckily, one such security gaurd existed (isn’t their always?). Rizzo walked in, showing his copy of the invitation he got from the Seamstress, and made his way over to the punch bowl. Fellas, lemme tell you Rizzo is a sucker for punch. (get it? sucker punch? no? ah, just forget it, just a little superhero humor.)

For some reason, the punch was amazingly strong, and put Rizzo out immediately.

“Oh no, in this state of mind, I don’t know if I can control my Sonic Snore(tm)!” worried Rizzo.

But fortunately he was woken up only moments later by the superhero known only as Super Fast Kel, who looked quite stunning in her Sassy Cocktail Dress.

Thanks to the quick thinking of Rizzo the night before, he was able to make an appearance at Neil Diamond’s house, and get him a gig, right before the Girls from Cleopatra 2055, the Back Street Boys minus Nick (because as we all know he was at his Nintendo 64 Championship thingy) plus everyone’s favorite sidekick Action Grrl. They were great. But Neil Diamond’s Song Sung Blue could not have come at a more appropriate time. While the other superhero couples were dancing to the tune happily, Super-Fast Kel was running out with a not so happy look on her face.

Knowing that action was afoot (not philosphically, but literally. Philisophically, I would have thought action might be more like a fist in the motion of a punch to the stomach. Just me, tho), Rizzo switched to his superhero form, Narcolepsy Man!, and made his way over to the Super Fast Action Tank where most of the relevant superheros were hanging out and loading up, but he couldn’t shake the feeling he was being watched. (du du daaahhhh)

So Narcolepsy Man ambled across the parking garage to where the Super Fast Action Tank, but halfway spun around to catch whoever was watching him. A dark cloud surrounded him and seemed to spin off his cape when he spun.

“Cool,” thought Narcolepsy Man. “They put some cool gadgets on this outfit. Now I look all dark and mysterious.”

An lo! what did before his wandering eyes appear, but a crackhead!

“I should have
know you would be sent to foil the plans. Who do you work for?” demanded Narcolepsy Man in a quite demanding voice.

“Say, man, I can’t tell ya, I mean uhh… Can I have a dollah?” played off the crackhead.

“Don’t play coy with me, silly crackhead, I’m not here for your crackhead games. Who do you work for?” queried Narcolepsy Man, while giving the loser a menacing stare.

“Just a dollah man,” he replied.

The crackhead was knocked to his feet by Narcolepsy Man’s quick blast of Sonic Snore ™. He stood over his huddled form, black mist surrounding him, and he opened his eyes and said one last time: “Who do you work for?”

“I work for the man. I work for Big Man. Please don’t hurt me, suh!” squealed the crackhead.

“Big Man,” thought Narcolepsy Man. “I know this villain. He shall soon know what it is like to face the Master of Pi.”

“Give your boss this,” replied Narcolepsy Man, as he tossed one of those cool business cards at him. “Tell him his days of crack dealing are over!”

Narcolepsy Man turned off the mist generator and walked the rest of the way over to the Super Fast Action Tank.

Action Grrl tossed him the keys and said “You’re driving, I’ve got to work on a plan.”

“I’ve got shotgun!” called out Joan Jett.

“Alright where to?” asked Narcolepsy Man.

“We gotta check out Super Fast Kel, and take care of this Nick situation. Action’s afoot.” responded Action Grrl.

“That’s interesting, because I always pictured action as a swift punch to the stomach or something,” chipped in the sharply dressed, and devilishly handsome Rin.

“That’s what I always have sai…” started Narcolepsy Man.

“Shush!” exclaimed A.J. “There’s a time to think, and a time for action; and heroes, this is no time to think. Floor it Narcolepsy Man!”

With that he did. But Narcolepsy Man’s vision began to blur, and as they were nearing the place where Super Fast Kel could be spotted, he totally passed out, which was quite unusual for someone as in control of his sleep paterns as Narcolepsy Man (there’s no one better!).

“Everyone, err, brashe for impact,” slurred Narcolepsy Man, “because …. “

“Good thing Super Fast Kel had that Really Hard Armor installed on the Super Fast Action Tank. We’d all be in a world oh hurt,” said Action Grrl.

Once woken up, Narcolepsy man noticed that The Mysterious Death Chimp seemed to console Super Fast Kel quite a bit. She was going to sit this adventure out, and the rest of the crew was going to go check out what was up with No Good Nick, as he was now dubbed.

“So it looks like we’re off to Vegas, eh? At least I’m not headed to New York. The city that never sleeps would most definately be my bane, ” said Narcolepsy Man.

“Yeah, I see how that could be quite the problem.”

And with that they made their way over to the Super Fast Action Tank. And pointed it towards Sin City. For some action.

Crazy love triangles ensue with your favorite Nintendo characters, plus lots and lots of action. Look for it soon in an upcoming episode of Narcolepsy Man: The Man of Pi (probably around 10am or so tomorrow, my shifts over and I gotta go home before I got done writing… sorry, busy day).

In other news, my electricity got cut off because Phitt forgot to pay the bill, i’ve gotta go turn it on. Seizures tomorrow.

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