I know, I know. I’m working on the next issue while I’m writing this, but I just read Kelly’s entry on Promising People Forever. And I had to comment.
I am at a point with relationships with people (the last couple) that the people realize that … let me think how they put it … “this isn’t highschool anymore, I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”
And it’s not that we wouldn’t be in a serious relationship. Or at least what I consider serious.
To promise forever requires a certain level of committment people just don’t seem to understand. Maybe it’s how I was brought up to understand what love really is, but love is not just an emotion, not only the warm fuzzy you get down in the bottom of your tummy, or your chest, or wherever yours is. It’s also a committment.
When you deem that the opportunity cost of spending time in the long term set with this one individual is worth the lost personal and individual fun you might have on your own.
Too many people in the world are realists that way, though. They look at the divorce rate, they look at their own experience, and especially if they are cynical to begin with, they just say, this guy is feeding me a line, defense mechanism, activate!
The primary level of defense is “Oh, you don’t really mean that.” Number two is “We just met [fill in arbitrary amount of time here] ago.” Maybe you are dealing with a particularly bitter or hurt person, who’s defense mechanisms go so deep as to actually be psychological. And they’ll start to feel threatened by the level of committment shared by you two. Then it’s “I’m only [insert arbitrary age here] years old, I have so much of life ahead of me.”
Now I really can’t let any of my real life friends read this, or I’ll be out of the man club forever.
/rizzn “working on the story” do’urden
Quote of the Entry: The Tick after beating up all the ninjas, brushing off ninja stars stuck all over him. “Heh heh. Those darn ninjas. They’re wacky.”
– the Tick, in Night of a Million Zillion Ninjas
(ooh that gives me an idea. hee hee)