Response to the Response to the Email Forward Someone had a while back….

No offense meant by it, just something to talk about today

This were some forwards that someone got and below it is the response. Below that is my response.

TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO HAS HAD ENOUGH…

If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down.

If you won’t/don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is not a sport, and no, we’re never going to think of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let’s be clear on this one: Subtle hints don’t work. Strong hints don’t work. Really obvious hints don’t work. Just say it!

No, we don’t know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries, birthdays and other events you want us to remember on the calendar. That increases the chance we’ll remember by 50%.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes – what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

Check your oil.

It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

No, it doesn’t matter which quiz.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We’re going to look anyway; it’s genetic.

You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

If we ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle

TO “SOME” MEN EVERYWHERE FROM A WOMAN WHO HAS HAD ENOUGH…….

No matter how hard you try women are not all the same. We don’t want the same things, we don’t think the same, we don’t all cry to much and suck dick too little.

Just because I have sex with you does not mean I am going to call you everyday, stalk you and want to marry you. If you think this way you are probably not worth my time anyway. Sometimes I need to just have sex too.

When you don’t get a job only because you HAVE a penis, and you ARE white, you can complain about how difficult it is to be a white man these days.

Just because you go to see the strippers doesn’t mean I’m going to turn into Psycho Sally and scream about why you don’t find me sexy and how come I don’t turn you on……did you ever think of inviting me?

Just because I am titled you girlfriend doesn’t mean I will not let you do things. I can not “let” you do anything.

I don’t think shopping is a sport. I think it is shopping. And I enjoy it because it lifts my self esteem to buy something new that I might feel attractive in. So I might be able to compete with the women in Victoria Secret who have been airbrushed and computer created to become an unreachable goal for me to aspire to.

If I am a strong independant woman I am not a bitch or a dyke. I am a strong independant woman. I’m sorry if that scares you and you need to call me names to find agreement within your testosterone community that I am unworthy of being loved by a man and that is why I found power.

If I enjoy sex, even crazy kinky sex, that does not make me a nympho or a slut. It makes me a woman in touch with my sexuality and whose fucking business is it anyways? I have urges too.

Whistling at me or telling me that you find women like me, that you can’t figure out, strangely attractive is not going to make me want to get to know you.

If I love women it is not because I’m not good enough to find a man. I love women. And no you can’t watch.

If I think I am fat it is just because I have been made to believe through society and media that annorexic women are beautiful. So if you would stop reinforcing that women with fake boobs are extremely desirable maybe I would stop feeling like I’m not.

Maybe short hair isn’t attractive because women who have short hair have power, and self esteem and don’t need to hide behind what men find attractive.

I don’t cry to blackmail you. I cry because I am angry or sad or frustrated. Try listening to me and understanding me.

Don’t tell me I am ruled by my hormones and that is why I don’t cope well with life. Can you honestly tell me that men aren’t ruled by their hormones?? I bend down to pick something up and every man in the room looks at my ass. I yawn and the guy in the car beside me starts phantasizing about a hummer? Ogling is not genetic, it is learned and it is degrading.

Is it too much to expect that you might remember things that are important to me? Only to avoid doing things that cause us pain. Even if the second Tuesday of every month is my favourite day, if you love me, maybe you would remember that and say “Happy Tuesday!”

Just because I have breasts doesn’t mean I don’t know how to change my oil or what an alternator does or how many points a touchdown is. And I do know how to play poker. Don’t assume anything.

If you are not going to do something, don’t tell me you are going to do it and I won’t be disappointed. Isn’t that easy?

A woman’s body is not what you have learned it is. It is soft, it is round, it has ripples, it has bulges, it has dimples, it sags, it wrinkles, it is beautiful. I should feel I am beautiful.

A serious and honest response to both sides of the issue. From a man. (for what it’s worth).

The first post was in jest. It needs to be taken that way. It makes some good points in a humorous fashion and anyone thin skinned enough to be offended by it might be guilty of some of the things listed there.

I can just about attest to many of the things listed in the first post being true. Sure some are exaggerated, some are off the mark, but many true.

HONEST RESPONSES TO BOTH SIDES FROM ONE GUY WITH A MOSTLY LEVEL HEAD

Guy Statement: If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.

Response: Come on, if you are going to ask us that, publish somewhere the right answer. Every guy either knows by now or will know after 2 times of being asked that question that neither answer is the ‘right’ answer.

Girl Statement: If I think I am fat it is just because I have been made to believe through society and media that annorexic women are beautiful. So if you would stop reinforcing that women with fake boobs are extremely desirable mayb

e I would stop feeling like I’m not.

Response: I’ve never given someone fake boobs. I don’t even like huge boobs, or at least not over small ones. Boobs are great, big or small, I like ’em all! …. So basically, all I’m askin’ is what is the right answer?

Girl Statement: No matter how hard you try women are not all the same. We don’t want the same things, we don’t think the same, we don’t all cry to much and suck dick too little.

Response: The fact is most women cry more than most men. I don’t know if it’s genetic or learned, that’s not my specialty. Read a book about it if you want to find out more. I just know that every girlfriend I’ve ever had has cried in my presence, and I haven’t cried in the presence of a girlfriend. I’ve had a wide variety of girlfriends, one from about every spot on the spectrum. I know they don’t all think the same, but believe it or not women more or less have several characteristics common to all other women I’ve met. I think it’s safe to call it a fact of life.

Guy Statement: If you won’t/don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Response: I think that’s fair, don’t you? I won’t have unreasonable expectations if you don’t!

Girl Statement: Just because I have sex with you does not mean I am going to call you everyday, stalk you and want to marry you. If you think this way you are probably not worth my time anyway. Sometimes I need to just have sex too.

Response: Great! Give me a call!

Girl Statement: When you don’t get a job only because you HAVE a penis, and you ARE white, you can complain about how difficult it is to be a white man these days.

Response: Ok. I probably won’t complain anymore because the 90’s are over, politics are swinging back to the conservative side and making life easier for us again, and most importanly, it’s not quite so societally requisite to maintain that impossible standard of being the semi-macho-sensitive 90’s guy!

Girl Statement: Just because you go to see the strippers doesn’t mean I’m going to turn into Psycho Sally and scream about why you don’t find me sexy and how come I don’t turn you on……did you ever think of inviting me?

Response: Do you want to go to a strip club with me this weekend? Seriously though, most chicks I’ve dated are more possesive than the stereotypical guy. Strip clubs for spoken-for men are still not en-vogue, unfortunately.

Girl Statement: Just because I am titled you girlfriend doesn’t mean I will not let you do things. I can not “let” you do anything.

Response: Once again, I gotta fall back on experience here. Sure, you may not say anything about something, but you store that point against me for doing it away. You store it and don’t talk about it. And then one day you break up with me and list a million points that I scored in the negative column, leave the note on my doorstep, and I don’t hear from you again.

Guy Statmenet: Shopping is not a sport, and no, we’re never going to think of it that way.

Girl Response: I don’t think shopping is a sport. I think it is shopping. And I enjoy it because it lifts my self esteem to buy something new that I might feel attractive in. So I might be able to compete with the women in Victoria Secret who have been airbrushed and computer created to become an unreachable goal for me to aspire to.

Response: Of coures *you* don’t think it’s a sport. But you try to make us think it’ll be a sport. And it’s not. We’ve played that game before, and it’s just not as fun for us as it is for you. Unless it’s shopping for gadgets. Like RadioShack or Fries Electronics. That’s fun.

Girl Statment:If I love women it is not because I’m not good enough to find a man. I love women. And no you can’t watch.

Response: Please? It’ll be fun!

Guy Statement: Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.

Girl Response: Maybe short hair isn’t attractive because women who have short hair have power, and self esteem and don’t need to hide behind what men find attractive.

Response: Dude, consult your hairdresser on this. And take his/her advice. Short hair isn’t for everyone. I am not the judge of this.

Guy Statement: Crying is blackmail.

Girl Response: I don’t cry to blackmail you. I cry because I am angry or sad or frustrated. Try listening to me and understanding me.

Response: Maybe *you* don’t, but some of my girlfriends did. And that’s a fact.

Girl Staetment:Don’t tell me I am ruled by my hormones and that is why I don’t cope well with life. Can you honestly tell me that men aren’t ruled by their hormones?? I bend down to pick something up and every man in the room looks at my ass. I yawn and the guy in the car beside me starts phantasizing about a hummer? Ogling is not genetic, it is learned and it is degrading.

Response: I think the fact is that all people who have hormones are ruled to a certain extent by them. Mind over matter is great and all, but in practice doesn’t work as well as in theory.

Guy Statement: No, we don’t know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries, birthdays and other events you want us to remember on the calendar. That increases the chance we’ll remember by 50%.

Girl Response: Is it too much to expect that you might remember things that are important to me? Only to avoid doing things that cause us pain. Even if the second Tuesday of every month is my favourite day, if you love me, maybe you would remember that and say “Happy Tuesday!”

Response: Yes. It is too much. Literally, I don’t know what day it is. Is it Monday? Is it Saturday? I don’t know, man, I just work here. For the record, one reason guys will never remember that his girlfriends favorite day of the month is the second tuesday is because guys would never have a favorite day of the month, unless you are talking about payday (or if their office has it, casual sex day).

Girl Statement: Just because I have breasts doesn’t mean I don’t know how to change my oil or what an alternator does or how many points a touchdown is. And I do know how to play poker. Don’t assume anything.

Response: Because that just makes an ass out of you and me. heheheh.

Girl Statement: If you are not going to do something, don’t tell me you are going to do it and I won’t be disappointed. Isn’t that easy?

Response: Not if you are going to pout about it all day.

Girl Statement: A woman’s body is not what you have learned it is. It is soft, it is round, it has ripples, it has bulges, it has dimples, it sags, it wrinkles, it is beautiful. I should feel I am beautiful.

Response: And it has nipples, which rhymes with ripples, and sort of rhymes with dimples.

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: “Err…not fun. Somedau I hope yo move to Texas and makeout with all the guys in in Crackbaby and RIzzn'”
-Drunk Kat