Dear Diary,

You know, it’s bad when you see that you are doing three entries a day. It means the projects you are working on probably aren’t getting done.

But I read kat‘s entry response to be humorous. “Today is a shut up and take it however they wanna give it to me day.” Ha hah haheheh.

Ok, it was funny to me, I guess.

And then I read here that “..last night i dreamt that i said to somebody, “my family is so dysfunctional that my younger brother is two years older than me.”

Fun day. Non-productive day. Day of many entries.

Oh, I guess it’s mention-worthy that my ex-girlfriend that I think I wrote about a long time ago who’s handle is Z.. wrote me today. I haven’t talked to her in nearly 2 years. She’s a programmer now. Or at least she’s learned how to program. Which is sexy to me.

You know, of all the girls I’ve ever gone out with, she’s the only one I wish we were still together. She didn’t fsck me over. She didn’t screw up my life. In fact, while we went out, it was the most blissful time of my life.

Seriously I felt more spritually in tune than ever when we were a thing. This probably has to do with the fact that shortly after our breakup I fell into a deep depression/self-indulgence thing that took me 3 years to recover from (i.e about 7 or 8 months ago).

Nonetheless, it was a good time, and that is about 7 or 8 months of my life I wouldn’t exchange for the world. I hope that one day I can attain that level of happiness and communion with God and a significant other again.

Whew. This entry got all heavy in a hurry.

At any rate, in her email to me she mentioned that she knew someone from our hometown that goes to school with her who said he knew me that had been spreading rumors about me and she wanted the real story behind it (I have no idea who this fool is, but the rumors he supposedly spread are most likely true).

This is part of the reason I didn’t keep close contact with Z.. as well as many of my other Christian friends. I was and still am to a certain extent ashamed to admit to the public of what exactly happenned during that time of my life.

Why do you think I never use my real name in this diary? Sure many people already know that rizzn and my real name are synonomous, but most of the people I hide those years of my life from don’t know.

Z.. knows, but I hope she hasn’t found this diary. That would suck.

Ok, enough pining about the past.

Here’s my plan … my dastardly evil plan…. should I not find the perfect woman by the time I am a rich business owner (which is coming very soon, by the way — different story, but not a joke), I’m going to call up Z.. and offer her a job programming for me (a thing she has taken up and apparrently enjoys doing, partly because of my enthusiasm for my computers, so she tells me) and my company with a salary she can’t refuse. Then I’ll do the Bill Gates thing and marry one of my employees. Or at least take her on a date or something. She can’t refuse. I’m her boss!

Hrmm. I wonder if she has a boyfriend now. She didn’t mention it, but one wonders. Actually, it doesn’t matter.

Why am I dwelling on this? I have work to do. Besides, I’m already promised to two other goddesses from a different plane of existance.


Quote of the Entry: “god made everything, i heard. “
– perception

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