The following contains Reloaded spoilers
The Matrix: ReSeussed
(If "The Matrix: Reloaded" had been written by Dr. Seuss)
NEO: I am the One and I am free.
The Oracle is fond of me.
I need that dude who makes the key.
MEROVINGIAN: You only dream that you are free,
Look all around -- causality:
It's in the wine, it's in the steak,
It's in this chocolate cake I bake.
See yonder blonde? She sure looks fine.
One bite of cake, and she'll be mine.
Then in the restroom where we're meeting,
You can guess what she'll be eating.
NEO: But I am free,
And he is not the boss of me!
PERSEPHONE: He is a pig, she is a whore,
I've seen this scene twelve times before.
The tricks he's pulled, the lies he's said --
I'll shoot his werewolf in the head!
I'll fix him good for being sly;
I'll give you the key maker guy.
But first, a kiss to seal the deal;
Just make me feel that it's for real.
NEO: This bargain does have some appeal . . .
OK, a kiss, and now we're through.
PERSEPHONE: I'm very cute, curvaceous too,
Is that the best that you can do?
It must be true, the things they say --
The tabloid stories that you're . . .
Let's try again, you are a hottie.
Here's a kiss that's really naughty.
(Trinity will hate this night.
She'll bring it up each time we fight.)
PERSEPHONE: Now, that was better, way to go!
I feel a tingle, head to toe.
Let's have another.
TRINITY: Back off, ho!
Or taste a bullet from my gun.
PERSEPHONE: Too bad you're with her, she's no fun.
Well, come with me, we won't get caught.
I'll let you in my secret spot:
A steamy, dark place down below,
A tunnel deep in my chateau.
MORPHEUS: Could this be symbolism?
PERSEPHONE: Come through this door and take a peek.
This little guy is the locksmith geek.
KEYMAKER: I've got the keys to every lock.
I jingle-jangle when I walk!
NEO: And can you get me to the Source?
KEYMAKER: I have that key. Of course! Of course!
I'm on your side, just don't take me
Through airport gate security.
(First published at http://matrixessays.blogspot.com
This poem may be freely reproduced if it is unchanged
and this notice is included.)