Supreme Court Justices Detained

November 11, 2003 Washington, D.C. (KaKa) Minutes after the U.S. Supreme Court issued a decision that it would hear the issue of whether Guantanamo Bay detainees have any legal rights under the United States Constitution, masked military teams raided the judges’ chambers and whisked the justices off to waiting helicopters.

Citing national security concerns, the Pentagon declined comment on the operation.

The White House, citing national security concerns, declined comment on the operation.

Homeland Security, citing national security concerns, declined comment on the operation.

The Justice Department, citing national security concerns, declined comment on the operation.

Dodohead, however, has learned that the justices were hogtied, had hoods placed over their heads, and were taken to a nearby military air base where they were put on a military jet and flown to a location outside the jurisdiction of the U.S. courts. Unreliable sources say that the justices were taken to Israel for questioning.

Republicans praised the operation as a patriotic use of governmental resources.

Meanwhile, attorneys for top level U.S. officials say that they had expected that their clients would be indicted for war crimes related to the Guantanamo Bay detentions, but now are uncertain what action will be taken against their clients in that their clients have all been promoted and received “combat zone” wage increases.