RIAA SUES ARTISTS
NEW YORK — In a surprising twist of events, the RIAA has sued the artists themselves for producing works which are pirated. This comes fresh on the heels of the MPAA filing an injuction against 4 major films studios to halt production on movies the public does not care enough about to see in the theatre, but mind-numbing enough to want to see, leading to rampant piracy. Sources close to the RIAA expect this to be the death of popular music as we know it.
And in other news the RIAA and MPAA are filing suit against employees of all of the regional phone carriers.
“These employees know of the vast amounts of illegal information flowing through the systems and have remained silent. It is whole sale conspiracy to defaud the artist of the meager rations the subsist upon, not to mention that there are undoubtably the locations of all of the terrorists and WMD secreted in these illegal communcations. And while we realize that most of these employees and employers have hidden their involvement behind a thin veil of legality, we call upon the judiciary to set aside these frivolous laws so that we might bring these criminals to justice, swiftly and profitably.”