[Letter from the Ex this morning]

I hope life is treating you well.

im sure you don’t want to be bothered with any of this, but unfortunately, there are a few things I need to talk to/ask you about. I wish I could offer eloquence here, but I guess I simply wont waste your time.

its been a while since we last were in contact, and maybe youre less upset these days. the things you said both in person, and online were truly heart-breaking to me (I still really haven’t gotten over them completely)… its bad enough I had to endure all this when it happened, but to have it linger is really unbearable. all I really want is for you to end the continuing strife between us, and make the whole thing private.

nobody deserves to have this kind of altercation broadcast in public. the issue of google is especially “unkind and destructive”. you either need to remove the post, or change my name. you wouldn’t appreciate it if this kind of thing were done to you, offering enough questionable shit to cause trouble in your personal and professional lives. ive been hesitant to post anything at all on your site from the beginning, and when I did, I was never ashamed to state my own identity. if it seemed to be posted by anybody else, then it was. I tried to be fair to you. and now, I ask that all this ugliness still there be removed/altered/made private. i ask that you be mature and professional. I ask that you let the two of us truly move on and let all this stupid high school shit be completely over. its presence there serves no purpose at all. you have private journals to serve this purpose. as long at it is there, and googleable, youll be hanging on to stuff that should have been truly over and buried long ago. not only was the matter a gross display of bad behaviour and bad character, but you were quite simply wrong about lots and lots of stuff. I WOULD have corrected you, and said more than a few positive things to set you straight, or even agreed with you on points, but you were too much of an ass to let me. I never thought half the negative things you thought I did about you. why couldn’t you see how much I actually cared all that time? why couldn’t you just give me the time and patience I needed and pleaded for? does this really matter now? very likely not a fuckin bit. but if you don’t take it down/add aliases/make it private and solve the google problem for me, then at least do it for your self respect. anyone who finds this page, basically finds you acting like a psycho. me? they don’t really know what I have done. im like that guy whose wife posts everything online. he may be at fault, but shes the one who everyone says is wrong.

please, mark, consider all this. if you ever cared for me…if you ever meant it when you told me you loved me, then be respectful to me. I fought harder wars for you than you know or understand. if the situation were reversed, I wouldn’t have posted the things you said in the first place. you cannot be true to your love for someone and turn on them in that way. the things I said were uttered out of total desperation. I wont repeat them. you shouldnt repeat yours by leaving it there. you should take it down.

other than that, I ask about whether or not you have several things of mine. this is an important issue, because if you don’t have it, it likely means that littlejoe tossed it. I need to know what the situation is here, mostly for joes sake. id like to arrange an exchange (you left more behind than I think you really know, and I have no use for the stuff). ive been holding on to most of this stuff because james politely asked me to. however, we’re purging that apartment soon (unless theres a reply on this subject), so I need you to address this exchange proposition and claim what you want before it hits the curb.

with this issue of my name on your website, and with google (I know you have time to address this, because you post 10 times a day), my patience concerning this matter of your things which I am holding on james’ request is growing extremely thin. you’ve had some time since you knew this was a problem…please, lets just grit all necessary teeth, and get it over with. nothing good comes of embracing all this stupid crapola… theres no reason to completely alienate and/or antagonize.

lets all just get along.


[My public statement response]

You’ve made it impossible for any of your requests to be granted. Just in the same manner that “I made it impossible” for me to stay in the Apartment until I had other arrangements made, you have made it impossible for me to make any concessions in this matter. And I actually have considered this matter thoroughly (giving it much more thought than it deserves). I will not remove anything from my website. IF (and that’s a big if) you weren’t the one posting under a million different aliases the trash that was on my website in response to a simple entry from me, then you certainly egged everyone on, and you certainly told our private business to as many people as I would be through this website. There’s no way you can take your words back, so I don’t see a reason to take mine back, just because it’s easier for me to do so.

Consider the following (and there’s no reason to reply): is it fair to lead me on for three months? is it fair to send photographs of yourself partially clothed to my best friend? what about while we were still together? is it fair to ask my best friend out on dates? is it fair to attempt to poison the minds of my only friends in this area with your bullcrap? is it fair that the entire time you went out with me, your kind words to my friends about me consisted of bad impressions of me acting stupid? is it fair that even though I told no one but James about the problems we were having you broadcast every one of our disputes to every online friend and every ex boyfriend you can contact?

Don’t talk to me about fair, woman. Don’t talk to me about respect. If you were concerned about respect, you would respect my wishes. My wishes were pretty simple. Don’t ever contact me again.

There IS a reason to completely alienate and/or antagonize: I don’t want to hear from you again. As you’ve proven YET AGAIN, you are unable of conversing with me civilly without insulting me. Furthermore, all the minor points where our lives still touch are living insults to me. Don’t talk to me about patience growing thin. And don’t talk to me about desparation. I’m desparate for you to get the message: stop talking to me.

I know EXACTLY what I left there at the apartment. Did you not read the letter I left for your parents? I CEDE ALL RIGHTS TO IT. I DON’T WANT IT. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. I certainly am not going to arrange some sort of exchange with you. If I ever see you again in my lifetime, it will be too soon.

I no longer want to get along with you. You made it very easy during the last week we were together for me to make a very clean break. Any pretense or misconception I had about your love for me was completely erased, and it was shown to me exactly what kind of person you are inside. I suggest you grit your teeth, as you say, and stop writing me. Every time you do, you should know it will be publicly posted, and you will be publicly spanked in a manner consistent to all the other public spankings you’ve had in the dialogues on this website.

Get the picture?

Here’s a tip for the future: next time you write a letter asking for favors, try to give a shot to not calling the person you are asking favors of an ASS or a PSYCHO or SOPHMORIC or UNPROFESSIONAL in it.