My Boss Sent Me This Today
He ended up in a car accident and hes first call was to the Texas car accident attorneys, I was like um what? Why? After he explained me I was amazed how important this is to contact lawyer when you end up in car accident, there are even motorcycle accident attorneys if what you drive is a motorcycle.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(And that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(And that would be how???….)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(But, it’s “just” a suggestion).
On Tesco’s Tiramisu Dessert (printed on bottom): Don’t turn upside down.”
(Well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.”
(…And you thought????…)
On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.”
(But wouldn’t this save me more time?)
On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(And…I’m taking this because???….)
On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(As opposed to…what?)
On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.”
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury’s Peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.”
(Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)
On a child’s Superman costume:”Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(Oh my God…was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)