In my email today, I recieved some stupid piece of span for Viagra or something, and the following jokes were included (presumably to help defeat the spam filters):
It was a very foggy day in London. The fog was so thick that it was impossible to see more than a foot or so. buses, cars and taxis were not able to run and were standing by the side of the road. People were trying to find their way about on foot but were losing their way in the fog. Mr. Smith had a very important meeting at the House of Commons and had to get there but no one could take him. He tried to walk there but found he was quite lost.
Suddenly he bumped into a stranger. The stranger asked if he could help him. Mr. Smith said he wanted to get to the Houses of Parliament. The stranger told him he would take him there. Mr. Smith thanked him and they started to walk there. The fog was getting thicker every minute but the stranger had no difficulty in finding the way. He went along one street, turned down another, crossed a square and at last after about half an hour’s walk they arrived at the Houses of Parliament. Mr. Smith couldn’t understand how the stranger found his way.
“It is wonderful,” he said. “how do you find the way in the fog?”
“It is no trouble at all to me,” said the stranger: ” I am blind.”
It was at a five o’clock tea. A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness.
“So good of you to come, Mr. Jones, and where is your brother?”
“You see we’re very busy in the office and only one of us could come, so we tossed up for it.”
“How nice! And so original, too! And you won?”
“No,” said the young man absently,” I lost!”
Coed Girls Gone Wild
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”
He continued: “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?”!!!!
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: “How much for a season pass?”
Birds and the Bees
One evening, in the midst of dinner preparation, our 10-year-old daughter asked, “Mommy, what’s puberty?”
My wife was rushed at the moment, so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary, after which they could talk about it.A few minutes later, Peggy returned. Her mother asked what the dictionary had said.
“Puberty means,” announced Peggy, “the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children.”
“What do you think of that?” my wife asked.
“I’m not sure,” Peggy relied. “I’ve always been able to bear children. It’s adults I can’t bear.”.