Tonight has been Grand Central Station on the phones today.  I think I may have spoken with almost every person I’ve ever met today.  Starting to remind me of the old days when everyone and their cousin had my phone number, and always called me.

Not that I mind, but there are always a few people who get the shaft.  Tonight it was Darrell and Smokehouse who didn’t get to talk to me.. not because I value them less as friends, but it’s just that you feel obligated to talk to some people when they call when they only call once a month or a week or so.  Unfortunately they all called today.

My father is coming into town not this weekend, but the next.  The impetus for this trip is the further aggrevated family situation I’ve alluded to here in the past.  I’m not quite comfortable talking about it on an open forum like this, but if you stick around long enough, I’ll probably get around to it.

For you podcasters that read the site, if I keep at it for a couple more hours, I’ll have that HTTP upload component done for Rizzn’s Podcaster. Don’t despair.  In my work, I’ve found a bug in my code that I actually know how to fix that can increase the reliability of the email component by around 40%.  Good times, yes? It’s ever slow evolving into a real live good service.  Wait – I mean, Podcaster rocks now and forever!

As an interesting and almost pointless project, I’ve compiled a short list of all the photographically documented romantic interests of mine, and put some galleries together.  Before I jump into the list, let me put together a few ways a prospective reader of could use this list:

1) See if you measure up
Interested in dating me?  See how you measure up aesthetically and categorically (as I have included a title for each person as well as a brief one or two sentence bio for each relationship).

2) See if you made the list
There are a few people who didn’t make the list – mostly because they didn’t give me photographs of themselves.  If you can remember going out with me, and can prove it with some photographs, I’ll add you to the list.

3) See if you want to date any of my ex’s.
These girls are hot-hot-hot.  I mean, it takes one heck of a woman to satisfy Master Rizzn.

4) See my ex’s
Perhaps you are just curious. Perhaps you are voyeur. Perhaps you are a stalker. Perhaps you’re a fed looking for material to put in my file. I’ve had all these things and more over my life, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out you fit in these categories or something equally bizarre.

Without further ado, here is the list (in more or less chronological order):

Courtney Patterson
My First Love
I was truly head over heels for this girl. We met originally when she came in to my workplace, and I helped her print out her term paper. Six months later, we met at a church group, and we made a real heartfelt connection both spiritually and physically. She broke up with me shortly after she went back to college, and our relationship ended up roughly the duration of the summer. She’s married now, or last I heard, and lived in Houston.

Charlene Johnston
My First Encounter
Hot on the heels of my crushing split from Courtney, and the departure from one of my favorite jobs to this day, I met Charlene.  This was in the middle of a severe drug binge, and a lot of the details are still murky of what I knew when, but she was married (albeit an ‘open marriage’) at the time to someone who later became one of my best friends. She was the woman who ended up “making a man out of me.” She was a Scorpio, and ended up breaking my heart yet again. For about a year I couldn’t stand to be around her, although since I’ve matured and become rather good friends with her, albeit at a distance.

Traci Davis
My First Long-Term Relationship
Instead of becoming a misogynist, I receded into myself for almost a year. I moved to Dallas, and I met Traci on Yahoo! Personals.  Traci has always been a friend since, although our periods of contact are always interrupted by years of incommunicado, unfortunately. None the less, Traci and I were together for roughly nine months, and then together again for roughly a month or two a few years later.  Of all my ex’s, she’s the one I could see myself getting on with again at some point, although distance and ‘maturity’ will probably always prevent that. 

Stacy Wilson
My First Fiance
Bad luck is the best way to describe the relationship between Stacy and I.  We weren’t together long before we started to speak of marriage, and we weren’t engaged long before she started to break her vows to me. For nine months after our first break-up, I tried to patch things back up with her, and we almost did get things together a few times, but it wasn’t to be. She was another Scorpio. She and I after a year or so ended up being on friendly terms, and I speak with her about a couple times a year.

Alana Gray
My First Fling
Not a week after the final split between Stacy and I, Alana scooped me up for what she envisioned as a week-long fling as I had plans to move out of town at the time.  When my plans changed the night of the move, she still broke up with me to get back together with her ex’s.  The girl actually broke up with me over SMS (Phone Message).  I saved it for years as it was something quite humorous to me.  We both knew it was a short term thing, and I occasionally entertained thoughts of getting back with her, until I realized that she too was a Scorpio, and was only playing with me.  Sensing a pattern?

Laura Colaner
My First Dominatrix
My last major relationship, this one really threw me for a loop.  I’ve almost recovered from my misogynist stage that I was thrown into after this one.  Things started out swell, and then after one simple (although I must admit thoughtless) mistake, things went rapidly downhill.  The only reason this relationship lasted more than a month was that I was ‘renting’ an apartment from her parents, and had to maintain the peace in order not to be Mr. Homeless Rizzn.  I think we ended up being together for about four months.  Behind the bedroom door, the relationship was incredible (again, for the first month, before she turned into a cold fish). The relationship could best be summed up by the night it was finally over – she was rocking back in forth in a fetal position, half-naked, on my kitchen floor, nursing a bottle of cheap vodka, apologising to her ex-boyfriend’s dog. Also a Scorpio.

Honorable Mentions
Amanda Morgan My First Stalker
I honestly had nothing in common with this girl.  We dated for a while, and she claimed to be completely in love with me, but the chemistry was just not there for me.  I couldn’t get a conversation out of her ever. In retrospect, it was a pretty decent arrangement we had, but it’s sometimes not fair to be with someone you know you don’t want to be with and lead them on like that. The only chick I’ve ever had to break up with. Multiple times.

Lish Daelnar My First Geek
During my first year in Florida, I met Lish from friendster, and online we hit it off like gangbusters. In person, she intimidated me, and I froze up on our first date.  She might be one of the few people in this world that I respect for their powers of geek. In one of the few moments where I wasn’t frozen, we exchanged UART jokes, if that gives you some idea. Technically we only had one date, and I didn’t even get a kiss, but she left an impression. If memory serves, a Scorpio, but it didn’t have an effect on our non-relationship.

Taylor Bowen My First Hand-Off
I actually went on one date with Taylor, and she handed me off to her friend Sunny, which suited me fine.

Sunny My First Faux Pas
All I’ll say to save myself the embarrassment is that I was so inept that I didn’t notice the fact that she was literally throwing herself at me, and I didn’t take advantage of her.  I to this day don’t know if it’s because I’m a gentleman at heart, or a fool.  Either way, one of the few regrets I have, because she was a stand up girl, and we could have had something if I weren’t a numbskull. She probably thinks I’m gay or something (which I’m NOT!).

That’s all I got for now folks.  Be good.


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