Between Bill Maher, and all the pseudo-independents at the Independent Spirit Awards (brought to you by the biggest of the big nine corpolitical media outlets), I’ve had my head filled with all sorts of ridiculous notions this weekend.
One of the funniest notions is that, as Bill Maher put it on his program this weekend, is that “there is no such thing as ‘Hollywood Values'” and that “Hollywood wouldn’t put the stuff out there if [Americans] didn’t want it.”
Are you serious!?! I hate to steal Sean Kennedy‘s lines here, but are you @#$@ing kidding me? Let’s take a look at what just happens to be going on at your local theatre right now.
The Pacifier – Vin Diesel stars as a Navy SEAL who’s facing his toughest assigment yet; the Plummer children.
Hitch – Former Fresh Prince actor Will Smith stars as a professional matchmaker whose program is threatened by a female journalist who enrolls as a student and plans on publishing an expose on his fradulent methods.
Diary of a Mad Black Woman – I can’t even summarize this one in a single sentence. The blurb on it is three pages long. I assume it’s about an African-American that’s pissed off.
Did you ask for these? Did you really need to see the modern day action hero grab poopie diapers from the playground at Chuck-E-Cheese? Do you need to see Will Smith throw his career away on weak date movies? Do you really need to go further than a check cashing store on Friday at 5:01pm to see a mad black woman?
I’m not talking about Hollywood programming us do believe in values that aren’t ours. I’m talking about Hollywood programming us to watch crap movies and like it!
If I were to get into the horrid values that don’t represent the majority of what America believes, that could take me all day — that gets into the nature of the filmmaking subculture as a whole. I’ll save that one for another day; it’s bad enough that Hollywood is so far disconnected from American Values that there will probably be a Vin Diesel movie in two years called Pacifier 2: Full Rubber Nipple Jacket.
Music on the Turntables Currently: – DonJim.dometo.mp3