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Once again, hurricane season is upon us, and it’s a wonderful time for all the sensationalists to come out of the woodwork.  Matthew sent me an article from CNN that was cross-posted in From The Wilderness today as well. According to some scientist’s intuition, it would seem, the world is indeed ending due to global warming.  That’s right, hold on to your butts, it’s the end folks.

Marine biologists are seeing mysterious and disturbing things along the Pacific Coast this year: higher water temperatures, plummeting catches of fish, lots of dead birds on the beaches, and perhaps most worrisome, very little plankton — the tiny organisms that are a vital link in the ocean food chain.

Is this just one freak year? Or is this global warming?

Apparently, all over North America, ocean water temperatures are a few degrees higher than normal.  This means the circle of life is disrupted at the microscopic levels, and the effects are cascading.  The CNN article is actually fairly balanced, when you consider their track record on trumpeting wacky theories in the past.  The essentially use the concept of global warming as a backdrop and bias by editorialization, asking rhetorical questions that only the eco-liberal will understand and “know the answer to.”  They never really come out and say that there is a direct connection to the theory of global warming and warmer ocean waters this year.

Nor do they actually go over what could be indicative patterns in the water temperature history.  Does it have a history of going up and down?  What is the drama of it’s ups and down.  Is it following a trend?  I mean, these are the same people that put on four hours a day of stock graph analysis, can’t they at least mention something or other about a trend in this supposed herald of all our doom? Me-thinks that would kill the suspense and the horror, and thus make a less sensational news story.

I wouldn’t mention any of this except that there is a glut of Eco-Stories today.  Given that it’s hurricane season down here in SouFla, it gives all the local and national outlets an opportunity to talk about how if we don’t die from the lack of zooplankton in the ocean water, we’re going to be destroyed by killar hurricanes! The Miami Herald today proclaimed that Climate Change May [indeed] Be Fueling Storms.

The accumulated power of Atlantic hurricanes has more than doubled in the past 30 years, with a particularly dramatic spike since 1995, and global warming likely is a major cause, according to a study to be published this week.

Though a connection between global warming and hurricane ferocity might seem logical, the report by a reputable climatologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology is the first to draw a statistical relationship between the two.

 ‘The large upswing in the last decade is unprecedented and probably reflects the effect of global warming,” scientist Kerry Emanuel wrote in a study that will appear in the Thursday edition of the journal Nature. Copies of the article were made available Sunday.

Anyone who doesn’t have a habit of reading scholarly papers would tend to be alarmed by this seemingly expert opinion.  I, on the other hand, have not only read quite a few ‘scholarly papers’ but have had close personal relationships with the scholarati.  Let me say to you that the typical scholarly study writer in tertiary fields of study tend to be as full of bs, bias, and opinion as the next guy, and if you want to put stock in a scholarly ‘study,’ you had better read it for yourself.

I’m not in any way saying these studies are easy to do, but often what happens is they start out with a thesis, and then they cherry pick factoids, graphs, opinions and other nuggets to ‘prove’ their point, instead of investigating a phenomenon and reporting the results of their findings.  As a result, these agenda studies (as I like to call them) often contain sources with shaky foundations at best.  Many times the researchers haven’t even based their findings on primary sources.  During a debate, one time, I was quoted a study citing the fallibility of abstinence based education.  The outlandish claim was made that more people who are taught abstinence (as opposed to those who aren’t) catch STDs.  I read the study, went through the sources, and as it turns out, the source quoted by the source quoted by the source quoted by the study was an opinion paper (and the number was based on pure speculation), not an actual fact.  Since it was several generations deep in studies, it was being passed around as a complete fact.

RobinsonThere were a couple more articles on the same subject that showed equal ineptitude in explaining the facts, by CNN and the New York Times.  But even after this blog post thus far, the question remains in all our minds, what’s up with this global warming thing.  Are we going to die or not?  According to the Oregon Instutitute of Science and Medicine, probably not.  According to Arthur and Zachary Robinson, both chemists at the institute, there is a closer correlation between between solar activity and global temperatures than carbon dioxide activity and global temperatures.  Kind of makes sense, in a way.  The largest nuclear furnace for light years is the biggest factor in the temperature of our planet.

Naahhhh, it’s to obvious.


Update: I need to start doing this before I post so that I can incorporate this into the actual feature, but I did a technorati search after I posted, just to see what everyone else is saying.  I’m just about done laughing now … I just want you all to read these headlines, and see if you get as much of a kick out if it as I do.

People, we are facing extinction.
Global Warming – “For those out there that believe that Global Warming is a myth please come drop by my Bedroom cause I think it might very well be the warmest place on the planet….”
Ode to Key West – “it’s finally happened. Global warming is out of control, making hurricanes more… say goodbye to the residents of Key West, who are soon to be destroyed by the vicious hands of global warming…”
My basic core values and beliefs – “GLOBAL WARMING: It’s very real, the Republicans have tried to hide it and deny…”

Keep it up fellas.  You crack me up.