This is a bit late, but it’s getting some buzz in the indy-media, so I caught wind of it.  Christopher Walken has announced he’s running for President of the United States in the 2008.  Rizznites, we may have found our man.  Maybe. 

Long-time Rizzn fans will remember our unsuccessful bid to draft Ric Flair for president in 2004 and of course, our unsuccessful bid to reverse Hulk Hogan’s decision not to run for president in 2000.  This time, I think it’s time to choose a candidate that actually wants to run, so I’ll showcase Christopher Walken’s profile for you so far, and hopefully get your input on it.

So far his planks seem to be campaign finance reform, better military funding, and stem cell research.

Campaign Finance Reform:
   “I believe that campaign finance is a very tough issue, with good points on both sides; but I feel, as a wealthy American, that I should have no more say than even the least fortunate American citizen. Free speech in politics is about the voices of all those who support you, not who supports you with the biggest voice.”

Military Funding:
   “I am a huge supporter of the military. I have always thought of them as our guardians, and when our guardians are making less than the poverty line, and children are suffering because their parents decided to join the military, well, I get very upset. I feel that instead of sending billions to the Pentagon’s pet projects, it should go to the troops.”

Stem Cell Research:
   “I’d met Chris Reeve several times before he died, and after having met him it is tough to be against [stem cell research]. I am for human knowledge and expansion of human life. If stem cells are one way to do that, I cannot support legislation to restrict this potentially life-saving research.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this sort of a libertarian platform? The libertarian party platform has a few things to say about the military.  In fact, the libertarian party is one of the few independent parties that isn’t a dyed in the wool dove party. Likewise, the libertarians are staunch supporters of campaign and election reform.

Finally, libertarians are very admittedly split on the morality issues of the day, much like the rest of the country.  In their charter, they state on abortion:

Recognizing that abortion is a very sensitive issue and that people, including libertarians, can hold good-faith views on both sides, we believe the government should be kept out of the question. We condemn state-funded and state-mandated abortions. It is particularly harsh to force someone who believes that abortion is murder to pay for another’s abortion.

Given the tone and intent of the paragraph, one can only assume that you could interchange the words “stem cell research” for abortion in that paragraph, and it would work for most libertarians.

Do I think Christopher Walken will run on the Libertarian ticket?  I’m not sure.  Should he?  I think so.  Howard Stern did so well on the LP’s ticket in his joking bid for the New York gubernatorial race that he had to back out of the race for fear of winning (as he really didn’t want to win, he just wanted to get the LP’s on the ticket the next year, and get some publicity).

The LP’s should do what we can to get Walken on our ticket – if it’s not a hoax.

The technologist has some circumstantial evidence that this might be a hoax.  I’ll have a definitive answer for you this Monday, as I’ve put a call in with Mr. Walken’s publicist, and she’ll be able to confirm or deny these rumors.


On the Turntables Currently: MC FrontalotIndier Than Thou

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