Hay Rizzinites! Been a solid minute since I posted on this site. Speaking of solid, veterans may recall me as The Shit back in the hey-day of Dj Colonoscopy and his sidekick, The Shit.

Todays subject: Addiction…

Addiction is a horrible beast that will one day rear it’s ugly in head in our direction. I used to play WoW (World of Warcraft) and Ever-crack and all that stuff. Indeed, my life was consumed. I always figured that if someone wanted to make a quick million they could open a computer free clinic that helped people reclaim there lives from there level 55 shaman lieutenant. I know many desperate wives that would gladly pay for there husbands treatment.

Yom Kippur is the Jewish holy day of attonement where Jews everywhere come together to celebrate their overwhelming guilt. I plan on including a few prayers for forgiveness this year for all the time I wasted on my MMORPGs.

It would go somthing like this: “Dear God of the Hebrews, please forgive me for killing so many other players and wasting all my time focused on doing so.”

God’s response would go somthing like this: “Dearest guilt ridden Hebrew male, thank you for your consideration, however the only way I could consider exonerating you is if you mitigate your addiction somwhat by playing the only RPG that matters and forgetting all of the others. I, the Lord your God, of course now speak of Iroleplay.net.

Now what the Lord my God doesn’t realize of course is that the site is run entirley by a nutso group of heathens, but don’t tell him I said so. Don’t tell them I said that either for that matter.
Iroleplay.net has been the most singularly unique roleplaying experience I have ever enjoyed on line, and would encourage Rizzn readers to give it a try. The action occurs in four (or more) hour stints usually tuesday and friday night in the IRC based chatroom, Heroes Haven Inn. Incidentally that is the also the in game location where most games start from.

Top 5 Reason’s to play Iroleplay.net

#5 – Great Characters
Avid Rizzn readers are already familiar with some of the wackier ones.

Doidaldi- (the cross dressing giant/would be giantess) is a reason unto himself. This show tune singing twin’s most recent exploits, include selling himself to a group of sailors, and walking bow legged back into the bar. Here is one of his posts on the message boards
“The tall, gorgeous giant of a transvestite urdon turns and walks away defeated once more from ever finding a man that can see past appearances. A tear and sadness plays across his mishapen, but otherwise womanly features as he turns his head toward the moon and sings in a horrible tone def glory: ((in what would anachronistically seem to be the tune of “It’s raining men)) “Somewhere there is a man for me… perhaps out on the open sea My Urdon heart I give freely for the man who loves me for me…” A nearby cat shrieks and dies…”

Zoot– the mentally unstable goblin shaman has his own fashion line that consists entirley of pots and pans strapped to various body parts. There exist hosts of other characters, and please understand that not all of them are over the top. We aim to keep the game believable enough to take seriously. I would encourage any who are interested to check out the message boards to verify this. http://iroleplay.net/viewforum.php?f=15

There are many more worth mentioning, but the grand reason why so many players are so creative with there character concepts, is because characterization is richly rewarded in this game. It is one of the main ways experience is earned. The act of character creation and the process of creativity is cherished among this group. If you feel like you are a creative person than IRP is a home you never knew you had, because you will be playing with nothing but.
#4 -The Adventure
Our GMs are some of the most well established veteran text based Game masters in the world. This wealth of creative, veteran talent has compiled the rules of this game over an eight year period. They have been adapting the system to online play for over a year. Please check out the history section to learn more. http://iroleplay.net/index.php?page=history

I still wonder at some of the brilliant characters and dynamic scenarios my characters have encountered. I will never forget Hannibals barbecue grill. Having retrieved it from the enemy and his horde of angry dingoes, we quickly started it up to cook some griffin meat. We were told that “It’s use had altered the fate of kingdoms”. We should have taken a hint. Expecting permanent stat increases from the consumption of the meat cooked on it, we were not surprised when magical plumes of smoke began belching out. We were shocked when those fumes knocked us all out. We should have died, but thank the gods, we were inside the heavily warded walls of the Heroes Haven inn and the army of Fire elementals that the grill summoned instead decided to burn down every other standing structure in town.

#3 – The Setting
The world of Gwyreth is richly detailed and provides custom reflections for almost all cultural and racial scenarios of this world. I have a middle eastern style character from a region called the scorched lands, there is actually an entire empire not unlike Rome called Folnir. There are also many fantastical environments that have no paralell here on earth. The race and class combinations for your characters are vast at more then 100 possible combinations. These include an array of special classes your character can evolve into. Evolution will happen by happy accident, because qualifications for these classes are entirley secret and depend on how you develop your character (PSST…GMs are accomadating and in game will drop obvious hints to steer you toward your secret class of choice). Skill choices, alignment, in character ambitions, all come into play when determining whether or not your character can evolve to an elite class.

#2 -The addiction
The reason I stopped playing MMORPGs is that I eventually discovered what a consuming and awful thing an addiciton can be. Even if it is just a roleplaying game. Ultimatley, It is depressing and after awhile I lose the joy of the experience. It becomes automatic. One of the most delightful aspects of this game is that it is an addiction that is only fed twice a week. In this regard IRP is a safe, wife + having a life friendly addiction. As much as I would like to I can’t IRP all the time. It is a select occasion that I really look forward to all week.The limitations are a built in restraint to my addiction while at the same time providing a haloe of ritual to the entire thing that has in my many months of playing, never diminished.

And, (very cliche’ drum roll…..)

The NUMBER ONE REASON TO PLAY IRP IS….
Its Free. We need people to play. We really want you to help in developing rich history for the game. A wealth of creative talent will be required in this monumental effort and while we have alot of talent amongst us, we really need more. If you have some interesting character ideas, we want you now! Creative roleplaying provides not only the only characters playing with a good time and a fulfilling experience, but also all of those playing with them get the same. IRP is in the process of transitioning out of Beta. Once out, it will be a paid service. (one time five dollar member for life fee) All of those who help us out in Beta will be free for life, Our little way of saying thankyou.

And the number zero reason that IRP Rocks…

Free Booze.

All members of the Heroe’s Haven Inn are entitled to free room board and drink. If you do decide to play try not to get

your characters plastered before the dragon slaying mission. I am sick and relying on a bunch of drunks to get my back on major baddies.

Thanks for the post Mark! See you in Gwyreth Rizzinites.