Just up at work doing a little coding this weekend, and the highlight of my week, the LiquidGeneration mailing list comes in.  Like I’ve said in the past, I’m not sure how I got on this spam list, but it’s hilarious.  The letter of the week was answered by Helga, a self-described staff pre-operative uncircumsised transexual:

THE LETTER OF THE WEEK!
we forgive people who deserve to be forgiven ,,,but your kind never say sorry ..never ask for forgiveness…never did and never would understand other cultures and other religion …..GOD put them in HELL and renew thier skins for years and years and years and burn them again again and again ………………
-Ali Katamoto

Dear Ali, Your knowledge of HELL is truly impressive. Do you speak from experience? I mean, does ALLAH put the top layer of skin back on all of the burning infidels, face-lift style, or does he renew the entire dermal layer? I mean goddammit, how the hell do people recognize each other if everybody’s getting new skin all the time?

yes your skin will be changed but with the same skin ..and why the hell would it change ,,how stupid can u be to ask thay Question,,and again if u have knowen anything or read anything about the religion or the culture u wouldn’t be asking that question ,,but i gusse there r many ignorent people in this world your dear ali

Oh…I see. It was REALLY stupid of me not to know that every sinner is born with BACKUP skins. Kind of like an uninterruptible power supply…an uninterruptible skin supply! So while one is burning for his or her sins, Allah is busy putting various new skins through quality assurance programs. Does he follow Deming’s quality principles or does he use better ones? I’m wondering, do the skins come with all the same genitalia as when you were born? See, I’m a pre-operative transsexual and if I get the old schlong sliced off, it would really be a bummer to have it back when I’m burning. Please tell me that Allah takes notes and honors individual choices on elective surgery. Kisses & Hugs,


/mark "rizzn" hopkins
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