Or why Moby should stick to being a DJ and never ever try to be a standup comedian or a comedy writer:

oh, i got some good lindsay lohan gossip. turns out she’s a space alien and is actually a composite creature made out of 50 other tiny creatures, kind of like when the little rascals stand on each others shoulders and pretend to be an adult. she’s really 50 tiny space alien creatures pretending to be human.

it’s true, i heard it from the homeless guy in front of milk studios and he never lies about anything. like the time he told me that the pentagon is really an aquarium for floating reptile brains. he’s never wrong.

It’s funny in the same way you might find The Kids of Widney High funny. Does that make me a bad person?