image Remember how I almost gleefully reported the other day that I was BACK ON THE TUBES! and would resume regular updates?

Yeah.  Forget that.  Here’s the problem: AT&T sucks.

It is chronicled in a series of Tweets that I began on Saturday, but are very typical of the type of experience I’ve been going through since I ordered AT&T high-speed Internet December 26th.

As most of you know, I moved to Dallas on the 27th, and on the 26th, I ordered a transfer of my phone and DSL service to our new Dallas address.  In addition, I took the opportunity to upgrade my service in Dallas to their new UVERSE TV/DATA offering.

At the time I ordered, the UVERSE service was unable to be installed until the 29th, and since it would supercede my high-speed $10 a month DSL line for the same price (for the data plan), I said “Go ahead and transfer the DSL for the duration, and we’ll turn it off when the UVERSE gets turned on.”

I mention that because it apparently is the key factor as to why I’m still currently net-less until at least January 8th.

Rather than chronicle the entire set of issues, I’ll summarize – I spoke to every single department in AT&T, and their bosses and their boss’s bosses at one point or another.  Every person I spoke to gave me a different solution. If you want a good soliloquy describing this experience, do a Summize search for rizzn #att, or read below this post.

Inevitably, the call always ended somewhere around 4:30 PM CST or so with the statement: “that <insert specific name> department is now closed for the day, and they’re the only ones that can help you. You’ll have to call back tomorrow.”

Occasionally I’d get served up extra surprises, like the operator hanging up on me for no reason, or getting transfered to a random voicemail box.

Over the course of seven days, I spent a total of 12.5 hours on the phone, or roughly equivalent to a part time job.

In the end, it turns out the reason the whole thing didn’t work out for me was because you can’t have two pending orders for data services on the same line or for the same address.  I’m not sure why this is, since it is possible that I’d want to shotgun two services, but they simply don’t allow it.

At the end of the whole deal, I got them to escalate my install date to the 8th (one day before my birthday, ironically), so that I might have some Internet at that point, but they can’t guarantee it’ll work at my address until a technician comes out.

The whole thing wasn’t able to be solved until a level three tech from the DSL support line (one of the sole Americans in that department, apparently (not that I’m racist, I just like to understand the person on the other line when I have a problem)) got together a five way conference call with me, the provisioning department, the orders department, line support, UVERSE and me.

This post here only glosses over the generalities, so I may have to follow up with something that truly captures my emotional state – suffice it to say that my neighbors one county over were certainly aware of my displeasure with AT&T on Saturday.

They’re locking up the Big in Japan offices, so I’ve gotta run – in the mean time, enjoy this twitterstream from Saturday.  It’ll give you an idea of what I went through.

#att the problem seems to be in the order i ordered my services in. long story. not my fault. expect a post on it. some point. 4:32 PM Jan 3rd fromTwitterMail

Direct/dish solutions are too rich for my blood. way over a hundred a month.4:25 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

#att off the phone for the day. total time on phone 12.5 hrs. internet eta january 8th. at&t blows. 4:22 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

#att 4:17 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

#att on a four way conference right now. another shot at expiditing the UVERSE installation. 4:13 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

@stevenhodson theses going to be on additional cranky added. i an hopping mad as it is. 4:09 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail in reply to StevenHodson

@rblevin @fireg i would cancel but all thats available here is time warner.4:03 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail in reply to RBLevin

#att on the phone with the supervisor and the orders department. they say i have service at three addresses. 3:58 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

#att turns out its not just my old address.. its a location i haven t lived at for a year and a half. 3:36 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

#att they just told of that they turned on my service at my old address. WHY!?!? 3:31 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

#att is there a record on the books for longest time on the phone to fix an internet connection? in 15 minutes it will be 12 hours here. 3:22 PM Jan 3rdfrom TwitterMail

#att i an pretty sure the group i an talking to is based in india. this just adds to the dead end feel of this call. 3:18 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

#att on hold again waiting for a supervisor. 3:13 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

#att latest trial.. agent kept of on hold just long enough so that the department that could help closed for the day. escalating. 3:10 PM Jan 3rdfrom TwitterMail

I have kept a log. i have spent 11 hours on the phone so far with at&t just to transfer my dsl. 2:47 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

By the way.. i an not kidding. not even a little. if at&t were a dude i’d punch him in the junk. 2:31 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail

i !@&king hate at&t. they have royally screwed of out of internet service 2:25 PM Jan 3rd from TwitterMail