image I’m refraining from writing the title of this post until after I finish writing the post itself.  My original idea was to title it “The Five Most Retarded Google Chrome OS Headlines of the Day.” The problem is, everywhere I turn, there are more retarded editorials coming out every minute.

I’ve basically decided to stop surfing stories here and just go with what I have.  If I’ve missed an atrocious point of view, please feel free to add it in the comments.

Before you get on me about judging people’s editorials, let me quote a bit of Roger Ebert’s post from a couple days ago entitled ‘I’m a proud Brainiac’:

I am fond of the story I tell about Gene Siskel. When a so-called film critic defended a questionable review by saying, "after all, it’s opinion," Gene told him: "There is a point when a personal opinion shades off into an error of fact. When you say ‘The Valachi Papers’ is a better film than ‘The Godfather,’ you are wrong." Quite true. We should respect differing opinions up to certain point, and then it’s time for the wise to blow the whistle. Sir, not only do I differ with what you say, but I would certainly not fight to the death for your right to say it. Not me. You have to pick your fights.

[…]

Those who think "Transformers" is a great or even a good film are, may I tactfully suggest, not sufficiently evolved. Film by film, I hope they climb a personal ladder into the realm of better films, until their standards improve. Those people contain multitudes. They deserve films that refresh the parts others do not reach. They don’t need to spend a lifetime with the water only up to their toes.

image With that in mind, I present to you here are some downright retarded opinions on Google Chrome OS:

Tom Krazit, step down from that blog

Mr. Schmidt, step down from that board – Tom Krazit | CNet
[Y]our position on Apple’s board of directors now looks completely untenable given Google’s intention to release a lightweight operating system for personal computers called Chrome OS.

[…]

It was pretty clear before, but now it’s completely obvious: you are overseeing two companies on a collision course. How can you possibly claim that you’re guiding the best interests of each company when the best interest of each company in two years will be to out-maneuver the other?

What’s wrong here?  Aside from the fact that Google isn’t competing with Apple with this impending release? How about the ridiculous poll that’s running aside the post (pictured above)?

The premise here lacks a basic understanding on how Apple distributes it’s operating system.  Here’s a hint – they don’t sell it at Best Buy as a standalone; to summarize my long post on this topic from the morning succinctly, chances are that the folks who want to pay $3000-5000 for a laptop aren’t concerned about price-point, which is what the Google Chrome OS is attacking.

Zee, you can step down too, if you want.

Prediction: Google and Apple go to War. – Zee | The Next Web
The move by Google is sure to leave Apple and Microsoft shaking in their boots, and quite frankly, I’m certain this is the beginning of the end for Ubuntu & co. What I’d like to focus on here however is Apple, a company which just weeks ago I couldn’t see myself ever abandoning, and who had convinced me that beauty, elegance and reliability were my top priorities when it came to an operating system.

I rather doubt that either Apple or Microsoft is shaking in their boots.  This is a purely theoretical operating system, at this point. Growing operating system market share isn’t done by word of mouth marketing, and assuming foolishly for just a minute that Google really is going after Apple and Microsoft, let’s engage our brains and think of how they’d go about that.

Apple users are on OS X because that’s what comes on their computer.  Very few, if any, install strait Linux or Vista, even though it’s possible, on their Apple machines.  Why?  Because Apple comes with OS X pre-installed. It’s a closed loop.

So if Google’s going to take out Apple, how do you imagine Eric Schmidt will convince Steve Jobs to go against his own company and put Google’s OS on the machine?

Here’s a hint: it isn’t happening, just as hordes of Apple-snobs won’t be turning in their Macbook badge of honor for a cheaply made netbook with Google Chrome OS running on it.

Techcrunch Drops the Ball, and It’s Made of MG

image Then, a guy who’s writing I like more and more every time I read it, Dennis Howlett over at ZDNet, points to the usual suspects and their breathless coverage of the topic:

Google Drops A Nuclear Bomb On Microsoft. And It’s Made of Chrome. – MG Siegler | Techcrunch
Wow. So you know all those whispers about a Google desktop operating system that never seem to go away? You thought they might with the launch of Android, Google’s mobile OS. But they persisted. And for good reason, because it’s real.

But let’s be clear on what this really is. This is Google dropping the mother of bombs on its chief rival, Microsoft. It even says as much in the first paragraph of its post, “However, the operating systems that browsers run on were designed in an era where there was no web.” Yeah, who do you think they mean by that?

I shouldn’t be surprised at all that MG can’t help but nerdgasm all over himself at any opportunity to take Microsoft down a peg, but I thought my friend at least read my many articles on this topic in particular. I’m pretty sure we covered this on an episode of Elite Tech News that we were both on.

That’s exactly the whispers he’s talking about – Mike Arrington, right along the line down to Henry Blodgett told everyone on their very large soapboxes how Chrome was a play to outmode Windows.

Let’s re-ite
rate it one more time, just so we’re clear: Google Chrome, in it’s current state, is not a freaking operating system. It’s a web browser. There’s a world of difference, and dammit if you can’t tell you need to stop writing about tech until you can pass an A+ Certification Test. Here’s some remedial reading on this topic.

How hard is it to read the past posts on your own blog? Pretty hard, I guess.

BREAKING: Google to Launch Operating System – Ben Parr | Mashable
Clearly though, Google’s setting the stage for a major battle with Microsoft. Just as Microsoft is trying to break Google’s stranglehold on the search engine market, Google may be trying to do the same with the Windows-controlled market.

Really? That’s clear? From a press release on a blog post? I don’t remember reading that. Follow the money – why would Google go after Windows users, most of which already use Google and already click on their ads?  Isn’t it obvious they’re trying to break into a new market that Microsoft currently can’t penetrate?

OK, perhaps I’m being a bit harsh there.  Not everyone can be as perceptive as I am.  Not everyone has done their research like I have, and tried to remember back to quotes from Google personnel saying as much. Clearly not everyone can be as gifted as you and me.

Did you hear? Microsoft is about to go bankrupt! Bailout time!

Google goes after Windows with launch of Chrome OS – Sam Diaz | ZDNet
The Chrome OS is a direct attack against Microsoft’s lucrative – albeit vulnerable – Windows operating system.

So wait, suddenly the operating system with the largest marketshare on the planet is vulnerable?  If you say so, Sam.

image Can someone please check Dan Lyons’ credentials? Has he used a computer before?

Let’s all take a deep breath and get some perspective – Fake Steve Jobs | Fakesteve.blogspot.com
Point four: You also may not have noticed, but nobody uses Chrome. I mean think about it. Do you know anyone who uses Chrome? Really? And you know why nobody uses Chrome? Because Chrome is shit. Just utter, utter shit. I mean they’ve got all these big brains at Google and you’d think they could make a decent fucking browser. Jesus, the freetards at Mozilla can do it. But not Google. Nope. They gave it their big best effort and what did they come up with? Chrome. It’s a joke. I mean, literally, we laugh about it, except when Eric is around. But as soon as he leaves the room we all go "Chrome!" and just burst out laughing. Our guys on the Safari team even had special toilet paper made up with a Chrome logo on every sheet. That’s how bad it is. Trying to make an OS out of Chrome is like saying you’re going to turn a Pontiac Aztek into a stretch limousine. I suppose it could be done, but why?

That’s funny and all, but Dan Lyons is supposed to be smart when it comes to tech, and he’s missing one crucial fact – Chrome is Safari.  Incidentally, Dan’s a former technical analyst for Forbes, where he’s now a Senior Editor. 

Do any of you people think before you type?

Will Google’s Chrome OS look rusty by late 2010? – Mary Jo Foley | ZDNet
However,  after reading the very few Chrome OS details that Google smartly dropped a couple of weeks before Microsoft is expected to announce the release to manufacturing of Windows 7, I’ve got a few doubts…. And quite a few more than the huge number of Google fanboys and girls who seem to forget for all its product debuts, Google hasn’t had any home runs other than search.

I’m having a hard time with this one. Not only has almost every blogger at ZD written on this topic today, they’ve almost all got a unique angle on the Chrome OS that involves making blatantly stupid statements.

Google hasn’t hit any home runs?  What is your definition of a home run?  How about video sharing site in the world?  That’d be Youtube.  How about most used blogging platform.  That’d be Blogger. Largest ad network? That’d be Adwords, followed by Doubleclick.

I could go on. Do I need to, or have I proven my point?