xbox-oneSo, I really don’t think this needs any commentary, quite honestly. I thought this whole problem was going to be a mildly irritated Facebook post, but I think this whole thing stands on it’s own as a reason why Microsoft may not be ready for XBox One to be a cloud-only gaming console… and this comes from someone who’s a Microsoft advocate, and owns six 360 consoles.

This chat log is unedited, other than to redact certain personally identifiable information.

Make sure you read all the way to the end, where the really juicy bits are.

I’m filing this under /robots, because based on my experience, I think an Eliza-bot might be more effective at solving problems.

info: “Please wait for an agent to respond.  You are currently ‘1’ in the queue.” 
info: Privacy Statement
You are now chatting with ‘Trey’.

Mark: Hello.
Trey: Thank you for contacting Xbox Customer Support. My name is Trey. Please give me a moment to review your concern. How are you doing today?
Mark: Doing ok. HAving trouble connecting.
Trey: Glad to hear that you’re doing okay.
Trey: Just to verify your concern, you’re having issues connecting to LIVE, am I right?
Mark: Yes.
Mark: Error is: “Cannot connect to Xbox LIVE. Select Test Connection to troubleshoo, or try downloading your profile again.”
Mark: I’ve checked my connection already.
Trey: I see. I’ll do my best to assist you with this Mark.
Mark: I’ve been able to log on to XBL with other accounts.
Mark: Went and checked my billing info, changed it to a good billing method.
Mark: (information was outdated, could have been causing the issue)
Mark: It’s been about a half hour, still not letting me log in, though.
Trey: I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you.
Trey: Are you referring to the account you are currently signed in?
Mark: Yes.
Mark: Gamertag “Mr Rizzn”
Mark: Sorry… “MrRizzn” No space.
Trey: One moment to check the account for you.
Mark: ok
Trey: Thanks for waiting.
Trey: I have here the account pulled up.
Mark: ok
Trey: As checked, there is no LIVE gold subscription on this account.
Trey: Did you purchase this with a contract?
Mark: yes
Mark: It was that Christmas special.
Trey: What kind bundle was it?
Mark: You get the XBox for $99, and you sign up for a couple years of XBL at a different rate.
Mark: I can’t remember what it was per month.
Mark: I definitely have an account, because I’ve used it before, and I have MSFT points showing up in my account on the website.
Mark: It even says “Gold Member” at the top right next to my name when I’m logged in on the website.
Mark: But I try to look at my XBL settings, and I’m noticing it’s just asking me to join.
Mark: Something is definitely malfunctioning.
Trey: I see. I checked the account as well and I can its under the Entertainment for all plan.
Trey: For this kind of issues, I’ll have to escalate it to our advocacy team. But lets try some trouble shooting steps first.
Mark: I’ve troubleshot everything up to this point.
Mark: It’s not a networking issue.
Mark: It’s clearly some sort of account/billing issue.
Mark: Let’s solve this.
Trey: I see. One thing though, have you tried deleting your profile and redownload it?
Mark: Of course not.
Mark: That’s a massive pain in the ass, and very time consuming.
Mark: What’s the likelyhood of that solving the problem?
Mark: Particularly when there seems to be a discrepancy on the website and in your system
Mark: Not on my console.
Trey: Some issues are resolve by refreshing the profile. Deleting the Profile won’t delete your saved games and achievements if you just select the “Delete Profile Only”
Mark: Way to dodge the question.
Mark: I’ll do this, but it just means I’ll be twice as irritated once you finally escalate the call.
Trey: I know how frustrating this is for you, but please understand that we need you try even simple troubleshooting first before we can escalate it, one of the protocols that we follow.
Mark: Oh good, genius.
Mark: Now it says “Sorry, Xbox LIVE profiles can’t be downloaded right now. Try again later.”
Mark: So now I can’t even play in offline mode.
Trey: I see. I apologize for that. Is there and error code?
Mark: The error is the one I pasted above, in quotes.
Mark: The code is 800704DC
Trey: Thanks. One moment please.
Trey: Thanks for waiting.
Trey: I have a link here on solutions to this specific error code Mark.
Trey: Please click here
Trey: On that page please type “800704DC” on the text field and click FIND.
Mark: ok
Mark: Yeah, I’ve already done all that.
Mark: I wouldn’t have been able to log into my account and chat with you if I didn’t know the correct password.
Mark: Resetting my password was one of the things I did before I initiated contact with you to solve the *billing issue* with my account.
Mark: I’m really losing patience here. Can I talk to someone who can solve the problem instead of making things worse?
Mark: Not to mention the fact that if I were to reset my password, this chat session would be lost and I’d have to start all over with a new person.
Trey: Please stay on the line.
Trey: My immediate supervisor will handle this chat.
Mark: ok
JR: Thanks for waiting and I apologize for the wait Mark. My name is JR, supervisor of Trey for Xbox. I hope that you are doing fine today.
Mark: Well, I’m a little irritated at the moment, I’ll be honest.
Mark: I now no longer have the ability to log in as myself, let alone log in to XBL.
JR: I do understand that Mark, and we apologize for the inconvenience that this has brought you.
JR: For your issue in regards to downloading your profile, we’ve been having that lately and it seems that our system is under going maintenance. Please do not worry about it, just give it a good 30 minutes up to an hour of rest and you will be able to re-download your profile.
Mark: What?
Mark: No.
Mark: And this doesn’t solve teh core issue.
Mark: I’ve been on this chat longer than that.
Mark: If it was going to magically resolve itself, then it would have already.
Mark: I need a real solution.
Mark: Not a “take two and call me in the morning”
JR: For that Mark, we need to escalate it to our Advocacy Team so they investigate or review why you are unable to log in to Xbox Live.
Mark: Let’s do that, then.
Mark: I’ve been asking for that for the last half hour, and instead been asked to do things that make the problem worse.
JR: I’ll have Trey here forward this concern to them immediately. Please allow Trey a couple of minutes to submit it.
JR: I personally apologize for the inconvenience that the troubleshooting Trey has made you Mark. This is a standard procedure for troubleshooting Xbox Live login issues.
JR: We will need your contact email address and contact phone number so if ever our Advocacy Team needs more information, they can contact you quickly.
Mark: Perhaps it’s time to re-examine the procedure for these cases. It was obvious to me that the issue was in the system, not on the console (and seemed to be to Trey as well) but he wouldn’t escalate until I performed a useless and harmful procedure.
Mark: [redacted] – 903-253-0143
JR: Duly noted Mark. Again, I am terribly sorry for this.
Mark: Let’s just solve this and move on.
JR: Of course Mark.
JR: Thanks for waiting Mark. Our Advocacy Specialist team will reach out to you within 3  days. Your service request number is [redacted]. Please write this number down for your records.
JR: They will contact you via e-mail at [redacted]. If more information is required to address your issue they will call you at 903-253-0143.
Mark: OK
Mark: Wait,.,,fauuuuuu
Mark: 3 days?
Mark: Are you kidding me?
Mark: this is bullcrap.
JR: That is the standard turn-around time Mark. But in most cases, they contact earlier.
Mark: Wow. God help you guys when you go to the cloud gaming model on the XBox One.
Mark: So that’s it?
Mark: We’re done?
Mark: I guess so.
Mark: Wow. I’ve never been this disappointed in a Microsoft product or service, ever.
Mark: And I installed Windows ME.
JR: Do you have any other concerns that needs to be addressed Mark?
Mark: Not at this time.
Mark: This is pretty much a show stopper.
JR: I’ll personally take responsibility for this Mark. I can only apologize as much, but it will still boil down to your satisfaction.
JR: Since we are not able to change or update any payment issues with your subscription, we need to forward this to the right people who will be able to do it as soon as possible.
JR: Please do make sure to clear the line for your phone and check your email regularly or on an hourly basis for our Advocacy Team’s update on your issue.
Mark: I can’t believe the wait time is up to 3 days. I’ve never heard of such a thing.
Mark: Yeah. I can’t guarantee I can put my life on hold for 3 days.
Mark: I have a job, family, travel.
Mark: I have my phone with me most of the time, but 3 days is insane.
JR: Like I’ve said Mark, usually they contact in just about 24 hours after we submitted or forwarded the concern to them. It is rare that it will take exactly 3 days for them to answer or respond.
Mark: Even 24 hours is a real long time. Tomorrow is a work day. 
Mark: Let’s say you’re in my shoes. Are you going to be able to take a call from XBLAT during work?
JR: I can answer the phone and tell them to call me again later in a more convenient time.
Mark: Brilliant.
Mark: OK, well, this is going nowhere.
JR: Terribly sorry to have taken a lot of your time for this Mark. Would there be anything else that I can help or assist you with?
Mark: I think you know what I’d like, but we both know I’m not going to get to play my video games in the next five minutes.
Mark: Whatever.
Mark: We’re done, I guess.
JR: You can play the games offline without having to sign in a profile.
Mark: No I can’t
JR: But the onyl drawback for this is the achievements.
Mark: … because the stupid account won’t download.
Mark: Remember?
JR: only* sorry for the typo.
JR: You can actually play game discs or games without profiles Mark. I am playing that way most of the time.
Mark: !!!
Mark: Wow.
Mark: So you advocate not using XBox Live, as a Microsoft employee?
Mark: Good to know.
JR: I’ve been having internet issues recently.
JR: I am trying to fix and I’ve been talking to my internet service provider for quite some time now.
Mark: OK, well, that’s interesting.
Mark: I’ve got to go now, and not play my video games (since I am unable to access my Cloud-saved file).
Mark: But thanks for your not-help.
Mark: Goodbye.