Oh Night Divine!

_{(or download an mp3.)}

I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. Just when you think it can’t get worse, it does. Several times!

The backstory:

I received a copy of that song at least 2, maybe 3 Christmas seasons ago after hearing it at our youth group meeting.

My friend Chris said that he received the song from the good folks at CIY (Christ In Youth). CIY is an organization that puts on huge youth conferences on college campuses, usually over the summer.

Chris is on one of their leadership committees and the story goes that that recording was circulated amongst the committee after it had been submitted as an audition tape. CIY typically has singing or talent night (at least I remember they used to) and this recording is a serious audition tape. No joke. It’s serious.

I play that song every year for my high school students to lighten them up before they take their Fall semester exams. I have heard that mp3 circulate from time to time, most notably hearing it on NPR’s Annoying Music Minute a couple of years ago. Now it is truly famous, thanks Steve.

Happy Holidays to my friends, family, associates and loved ones.

For My Liberal Friends:
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. "

"We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. "

"By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

For My Conservative Friends:
"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year"

Seriously though… Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Prosperous New Year, y’all.  I hope this year was as good to you as it was to me.
–
/mark "rizzn" hopkins
For my blog, profile, wikipedia and digg entries, simply Google "rizzn"
Check out Season 1 of Podded Meat, my new Vodcast Network (SFW): http://poddedmeat.com
Check out: http://ModernOpinion.com

Bad Santa

Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I’v ben a gud boy all
yeer.

Yer Friend, Franky

Dear Franky,
Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I’m giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Alot of you on the internet spell the same way. You are too damned old for this so quit it. It’s not cute but it is fucking confusing.
Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Nichole

Dear Nichole,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn’t they?

Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I don’t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I’d like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad’s banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he’s gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It’s time to give up that dream.
Let me send you some Legos instead.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog,
drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you’re gay. I’ll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa

******************************** *******************
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.

Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we’re sleeping, do you really know when we’re awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I’m
skipping your house.

Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,
PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn’t work with me. You’re getting a sweater again.

Santa

****************************************************
Dearest Santa,
We don’t have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself "Marky", that’s why you’re getting your
ass whipped at school. Second, you don’t live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet dreams,
Santa

–
/mark "rizzn" hopkins
For my blog, profile, wikipedia and digg entries, simply Google "rizzn"
Check out Season 1 of Podded Meat, my new Vodcast Network (SFW): http://poddedmeat.com
Check out: http://ModernOpinion.com

Political Musings – Presidential Politics 2008

The following comes to me from Robert Novak:

Much of Republican Washington turned out at the huge Christmas party Monday night hosted by Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) at the Corcoran Art Gallery. Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss.), the newly elected Senate minority whip, has emerged as a major McCain backer. McCain is not only the front-runner for the presidential nomination but is emerging as the establishment candidate.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D- N.Y.) passed the word to New York Democrats that she intends to run for President at a time when many Democrats are looking for an alternative. Former Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.) is campaigning hard, but the biggest threats to Clinton are former Vice President Al Gore (who may never run) and Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) (who has not made up his mind).

[via the Novak Evans report]

So there you have it – the not surprising analysis from Novak that tells us what we’ve known for months – that these are our political candidates.

Yet, I keep seeing this guy’s ad for president pop up on my GMail ads, and I wonder if he’s going to be a silent runner that makes an impact. It could be interesting.  Then again, maybe not – in some of his interviews, he’s made it clear he doesn’t have a real intention on winning.

/rizzn

Tight Finances and How I Make Ends Meet

Due to the recent wedding, upcoming baby, Christmas, and a couple of mitigating work factors, finances are REALLY tight right now at the Rizzn household…  So much so that I am piecemeal selling my comic book collection.

Those that know me very well are very likely gasping in disbelief.  I’m starting with my indies, and moving into my Batman collection if things are still tight.  As Smokie said the other day, "Welcome to fatherhood, bitch."

So anyways, if you could, I’d appreciate it if you could take a close look at my auctions on eBay, and pick something up for that special comic book nerd this year for Christmas.  At the very least, bid on these items and run the price up so some other comic nerd will pay a premium for these suckas!

Thanks.

Modern Age Comic Book Grab Bag – 55 Comics Total

Spawn #1 by Todd McFarlane – NEAR MINT

Grendel Comics – GOOD CONDITION

ECLIPSE Airboy #1, 11, 15-16, 18, 23-26, 33

Mai the Psychic Girl Manga – #2,11,12,14,15,18,20, 21

Mage from COMICO #9, 10, 11, 12, 14

–
/mark "rizzn" hopkins
For my blog, profile, wikipedia and digg entries, simply Google "rizzn"
Check out Season 1 of Podded Meat, my new Vodcast Network (SFW): http://poddedmeat.com
Check out: http://ModernOpinion.com