What I'm Working On

I’ll be brief – my step-son’s father is coming in an hour or so to come and pick him up, so I need to head on home. Here’s what you can look forward to in the next few days here at Rizzn.com:

• Some re-vitalisation over at ModernOpinion.com – I’ve got a few things planned, and hopefully the beginning of some monetization over there. I can’t wait for that thing to start making some money so I can start promoting it! I thank my writers there for being so dedicated in this lean time of slow growth.
• An interview with Barry Cooper – a fellow has been making headlines lately. He’s an ex-Narc who’s instructing people with a penchant for pot how to not get busted. I sit down with him and talk about what he’s doing get the inside scoop and all that jazz.
• The next iteration of PoddedMeat - A lot of fans out there are wondering what’s going on with PoddedMeat. I gotta say, we have some exciting things in the works, and pending a few pitch meetings next Thursday, I can start talking about what we have in store.
• OblongBox - I’m going to do something about OblongBox. The momentum has sort of died around here, and I’ve got a few ideas to pick things back up.
• UT Tyler - I’m working on creating a news engine for the UT system’s websites. I’ll give the inside scoop on how I’m putting all that together.
• Optimus Rhyme – I’m finishing up my remix for the new Optimus Rhyme CD. It’s gonna be neat.

Look for information on this stuff in detail tomorrow and next week. For now, gotta jet!

/rizzn

I 4M 571LL H4x0r 31337

Okay, so I’m having a weird life right now.  I’m all off my game, and, well, I don’t know how to explain it.  I think what it is right now is I’m editing this old book of mine that has a lot of emotional and mental ties to my past, and it’s putting me in a really funky headspace.  On top of that, the rest of my life is in a wacky state of flux, too, so I’m just off-kilter in general. None the less, I’m a trooper, and I’m still going to some blog posts for you peoples here.

Spill the beans already!
On the topic of the book, I recently found out (last night) that there is a new real-life chapter to the character’s lives the book is based on. I guess, I’ll go ahead and spill the beans on the book here, so I can try to figure out how I’m going to tackle this last chapter.  The book is based off the journal I kept during the nine month period of time where my engagement to my ex-fiance was dissolving.  It starts out all eloquent, heart-broken, and full of wistful love, and ends up as the writings of a mysogenistic, bent, and spurned author. I’m not sure how I’m eventually going to pitch it, but it’s definately an interesting read.

Well, as to the extra chapter, I was just informed that my ex-fiance got married a couple weeks ago to a fellow who she and I used to hang out with.  This guy was good friends with the guy who broke up our marriage, both of whom were in highschool at the time.  I was under the impression that she had changed, and spun off all her old bad associations, but apparently not.  Not sure what to think about all of that now.  I mean, I’m completely over all of that, but editing through the book as I am right now, like I said, puts me in a weird headspace, so it’s affecting me none-the-less.

A Podcast that Explains a Lot
Smokehouse is uploading a podcast we did last night on my feed. We talked about the upcoming Hurricane Wilma, old leftover topics from Hurricane Katrina, Tom Delay stupidity, my vacation, and a bunch of other rediculous stuff (including my fiasco at work this week).

It’s long, but I think it maintains interest all the way through. If you’ve got an hour to kill, check it out.  You should be subscribed to my feed anyways.  This may be the return of some more regular podcasts from me, anyways.

Excited about the Fellowship Of The Corpse
The adventure to revive Caligh’is returns tomorrow night at iRP.  I haven’t posted another chapter up here yet mostly because not enough story advancement has occurred yet, but there should be enough story advancement by the end of tonight, so look for another exciting chapter in the Fellowship of the Corpse series.

To quickly summarize where the story is at currently, the adventurers who ended up on the Fellowship ended up being Doidialdi, Lutherous, Rizzn, and Marigold.  We spent a fair amount of time last week stocking up for the trip at the market, and then headed north, following Pendleton’s (the horse) lead.  We reached a forrested area, and made camp for the night.  Rizzn stood watch, and after a couple hours we were attacked by a couple bandits on one horse.  We killed one  of the bandits, but he was scooped up by the horseman, and they fled the scene.  At the moment, Rizzn is mounting up to give chase.

Stick around this week, I’ll try to transcribe some of the logs into story form for the next installment.

Hacking the On Time Payment Protection System
A friend of mine from Tyler called me up, and said a friend of his had bought a car from a loan shark who was protecting the car with a payment protection system called ON TIME. I did a little quick research on the device and found that it’s an ‘embedded system’ that may or may not run on TinyOS. The way it works is that if you don’t enter your payment code into the system at the given intervals, it will prevent your car from starting properly.  The code is usually a six digit number preceded by a 1 (1–######).

It allegedly has a tamper protection system built in as well. From what the fellow was telling me, the device only had two wires leading out, that traced back to the starter, which presumably disables that functionality if it deems it so.

My advice (purely unqualified) was if he were to try to defeat the system, he should strip back the wires carefully, to see if they expose copper or more wires inside.  If they simply expose more wires, then give up, because they probably lead back to the computer, and we’d have to reverse engineer the box itself.  If the two wires stripped back only expose copper, then my advice would be to bridge them so as to short circuit the box itself, which theoretically would allow the car to start normally.

The next part is important.  If the car starts normally, you should take the box (which is attached, by adhesive, to the steering column), detach it, and take it to the nearest lake, and pitch it in, reason being is it contains a GPS device, which they will use to come tow your car when you stop making payments.

This advice is not meant to show anyone how they can steal a car, just simply what I told this guy on the phone today.  I do not endorse stealing, nor do I endorse getting out of your bills.

I am curious to see if this all works, because if so, if that is all it takes to defeat the security on the device, then ON TIME PPS is a rip off.

Liz Taylor Deadpool Update
According to the IMDb, Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor has expressed her wishes at having her ashes scattered in Wales, England, the home of the biggest love of her life Richard Burton.

Taylor is reportedly seriously ill following a string of health problems. Last month it was revealed that the 73 year old actress is now sleeping up to 14 hours a day and hasn’t left her Californian Bel Air home for weeks.

A source close to the actress recently said that she had almost given up on life, felt asthough she has nothing left to live for and dreamnt of being reunited with her former husband.

Despite being married seven times, Taylor has revealed she wants her remains strewn at Cardiff’s Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama to be close to Richard’s theatre there.

She’s definately moved to the top of my list. Get ready to send your funeral flowers.

/rizzn

Music on the Turntables Currently: DJ Rizzn – Basket Case (Kool Kannon Remix)

Merchandise: A Lesson in Capitalism

Alright, I don’t do enough shameless promotion around here, and I’m far too lazy to type anything up of substance today, so I’m going to take the day to promote myself and all the crap I’ve been putting out lately. This is a cattle call for all of you to buy something from me. The idea is that if I can get sales to go up, I can drop prices. I’m ordering everything piecemeal right now, so prices are high. If I can get volume up, prices go down. It’s all about economics.

	Kate Moss did some coke, and the biggest surprise of all was that millions of people came to my website because of it. This shirt celebrates that. She pushed the rock, she’s a star, she’s a rock star. Do the math. This ain’t high-brow humor here or anything. The biggest reason to get these shirts is that they may not be around long — I keep getting TOS’ed everywhere I go to have them printed up. I’m not dedicated enough to the cost to buy a screen printing machine for my room, so when they’re gone, they’re gone..
	$25 + 5
	Adam Curry is a Jerk. That’s what the shirt says, and that’s what he is. Why do I say this? Why am I so mean? Frankly, it’s simply because Adam claims credit for everything ever done, he doesn’t return emails or phone calls, and he steals my ideas and tries to enter into competition with me every chance he can get. It’s annoying as hell, so I figured I’d put it on a shirt. I own this shirt, I wear it once a week, so how’s that for endorsement. Be like me (a spiteful, bitter, grudge holding blogger). It’s attractive.
	$25 + 5
	Play God. This is the infamous ‘Play God’ shirt we used to wear back in our days in the Dallas geekhouse, featuring the old Rizzn.Com sitelogo on the front pocket, and a pensive image of Alan Greenspan on the back. Alan Greenspan is the fed chairman, for those of you who don’t know politics. He controls the US Economy, and ergo the world. Since Earth is the center of the universe, it’s fair to say he has God-like powers, influencing intergalactic politics with as little as an inopportune sneeze.
	$25 + 5
	Ladies <3 Rizzn. They do! That’s not to say that most of the ladies who love Rizzn don’t eventually crack and become crazed and legally insane shadows of their former self, but they do love Rizzn. This is the shirt you wear when you’re a lady, and you want to proclaim your love for me. It’s got a picture of me in my Patron Saint of Whatever icon garb. Seriously, the ladies do love me. Seriously.
	$25 + 5

	Soundtrack to My Car. This one, if you’ve gotten any of the old Riz Mix CDS, has a lot of material from Riz Mix 6 or 5 that was reworked into something that you’d actually want to listen to. I finished some decade old projects for this CD, and came out with some stuff that actually sounds cutting edge, instead of horribly dated. (that which is old is new again). You can buy the CD, or even download it for free from the website. Do both!
	$10 + 5
	John Garvin Fan Club vs. DJ Rizzn. This one’s actually been up for sale for about three or four or five years now, I just never got around to marketing it for personal reasons (grudge with the band leader). I’ve since gotten over my emotional trauma, and am open for business. It’s a split – half me djing, and half my production work for JGFC. They’ve got an atypical indie sound. If you hunt around on Last.FM or acidPlanet, you’ll be able to find something of theirs laying around.
	$10 + 5

Where the longhorn cattle feed on the lowly gypsum weed. Back in the saddle again!

Hey guys.  A few things to talk about here.  I’m taking it easy this weekend, recovering from vacation.  Yes, I said recovering.  For reasons I’ll explain later, my face has been burnt to a crisp.  All in all, though, the vacation was a blast – I’ll get into that in a second. 

The Band is Back Together
As a few of you have heard, we’re getting the band back together.  Yes, that’s right, it’s the return of the MADshow/Out In Right Field.  Everyone has been itching to do another podcast/radio show, including me, so Smokehouse, Darrell and I have been doing some planning sessions on what we want the new show to be.  The trick is going to create a format that’s going to work for all of us – it’ll be somewhat politics based, and I’m pressing everyone for a thirty minute daily format, with pre-recorded bits and rants mixed in.  That’s pretty much all I can say about it at the moment, although if you want to be in on the planning sessions, you should join the RIC mailing list here.  We’ll eventually move the discussion to it’s own list, but this is where it’ll all start.

When They Roll Up the Streets in Toledo Ohio
I woke up this morning to the sounds of violence in Toledo, Ohio coming from my TV.  I tend to leave my TV on the cartoon channels on the weekend, but for some reason I fell asleep watching one of the news networks, and so I wound up being serenaded this morning by the police chiefs of Toledo instead of Scooby Doo re-runs.

In another example of how piss-poor American MSM is, I had to go to the BBC website to find out that these ‘race-riots’ were actually not race-riots, but gang warfare (in Toledo Ohio? Who knew!?).  There were only 20 non-violent Nazi’s protesting (as opposed to 500 violent ‘anti-Nazi protestors’), and the Nazis were dispersed before the violence even began.  I’m not going to make some racist comments here about how it’s those darn blacks acting up again, I’m just saying how is it that the Main Stream Media has this aversion to reporting facts?

I know, Nazi’s are bad, mmkay.  But still, I think this is a good example of violence being somewhat glorified by the media, just because, y’know, well … who wants to defend skinhead Nazis?  Facts are facts.  Report them, regardless of how it makes the ratings or your public image go.

Apologies go out to the late John Denver for my abuse of his song title.

Hillary vs. Condi
I really don’t want to comment on this, but I feel I have a couple words to say on the topic of mild interest.  I think it’s patently absurd that the presidential race next term will be Hillary Clinton vs. Condileeza Rice, but the media is now fixated on these two running for president against each other.  The reason for this is most likely because of the hit series on whatever network it’s on where Geena Davis plays the POTUS.  I’ve been discounting the idea that Hillary could get the Democratic nomination, much less the highest office in the land on a couple of premises, but I’m being forced to reconsider due to the media attention.

To explain, one of the craziest conspiracy nuts I know (and have had the unfortunate experience of having to deal with him as a semi-crucial business affiliate the last couple years) once said (completely in a serious tone) that he had inside information that the powers that be have sat down and decided that Hillary is going to be president no matter what.  I tend to take the words of lone nuts like him, and whatever they predict, count on the opposite being true.  The sky doesn’t fall on command.  Conspiracies work by the numbers, and there’s just no percentage in any conspirators putting a woman in the nation’s pilot seat.

The other reason I can’t see Hillary taking the election is that Democrats are weak weak weak right now (despite a slight bounce in their numbers over the Rove/Delay/Frist scandals).  Hillary was the weak link in the Whitehouse PR chain for four years.  It’s a wonder she won a senate seat.  I honestly can’t see her winning votes for dog-catcher in all but the most liberal of precincts.

Unfortunately, though, because whomever the media fixates upon, that’s who ends up running for president.  If the media isn’t fixated on them, they get no votes (Perot ‘92 vs Perot ‘96, or Perot ‘92 vs Nader ‘02 for instances).  I’m just a bit saddened by this because damnit, if we’re going to elect a woman president, why can’t it be someone who isn’t a consummate liar, crook, and (dare I say it) unattractive?  I mean, crap, this is my criteria for a woman running for president – they must not maintain but one of those characteristics.  They can be a liar, but not a crook and ugly at the same time.  I’ll vote for an ugly woman candidate, but she better be a friggin’ saint.

I’m saying this for the children.  I mean we were all subjected to Susan B. Anthony dollars when my age group were young.  We were all, “Who’s this ugly chick?”  Do we want our first woman president to be talked about in this manner when history looks back at her? No!

So, um, let’s elect Uma for president or something. Yeah.  Hell, I’d settle for Geena, she’s still lookin’ pretty good.

My Vacation in the Bahamas, part I October 17th, 2005
I haven’t finished converting all my video yet, but I’ll go through the first bits of my vacation. Monday noonish, I hopped in the jalopy and drove down to the port of Miami, which was surprisingly easy to find (and not very trafficky getting there either).  I parked in a garage, walked directly across the street, and was all checked in within less than 15 minutes.  Interesting bit of trivia – you don’t need a passport if you’re traveling from America to the Bahamas.  A photo ID and your birth certificate will do just fine.

So I arrive on the boat, and as I enter the rotunda, there’s art all over the place, and I feel like I’m in the upscale section of a mall. I find my room without too much difficulty, down two decks, and in the front of the ship (it’s a ship, by the way.  they hate when you call it a boat).  It’s a small room with two seperate beds, probably a quarter the size of my efficiency.  Still, its ample room to move around, just not big enough to turn a cartwheel in. I’m not big on cartwheels, so I’m okay with it.

I wandered around the ship for a couple of hours waiting for my dad to board.  The ship had eleven main decks, and three more decks up in the tower.  As I found out the next night, it was in the top ten list of biggest ships of all time, accomidating around 2700 passengers and 800 crew. Another fun fact about the ship – there were about nine bars/lounges on board, about a third of them allowed smoking.

The first evening was pretty uneventful.  I got some good portside video of us leaving the Port of Miami, and some interesting birds eye video of South Beach.  They have this all day buffet thing that goes on from deck 10 to 12 on the front of the ship, from which my dad and I partook, and then went to bed.

I’m looking at the clock now, and it’s 4:50 in the morning on Sunday, so I’ll save the next day for tomorrow.

Deuce!

/rizzn

Music on the Turntables Currently: DJ Rizzn – Basket Case (Kool Kannon Remix)

So What is iRP about anyhow?

Hay Rizzinites! Been a solid minute since I posted on this site. Speaking of solid, veterans may recall me as The Shit back in the hey-day of Dj Colonoscopy and his sidekick, The Shit.

Todays subject: Addiction…

Addiction is a horrible beast that will one day rear it’s ugly in head in our direction. I used to play WoW (World of Warcraft) and Ever-crack and all that stuff. Indeed, my life was consumed. I always figured that if someone wanted to make a quick million they could open a computer free clinic that helped people reclaim there lives from there level 55 shaman lieutenant. I know many desperate wives that would gladly pay for there husbands treatment.

Yom Kippur is the Jewish holy day of attonement where Jews everywhere come together to celebrate their overwhelming guilt. I plan on including a few prayers for forgiveness this year for all the time I wasted on my MMORPGs.

It would go somthing like this: “Dear God of the Hebrews, please forgive me for killing so many other players and wasting all my time focused on doing so.”

God’s response would go somthing like this: “Dearest guilt ridden Hebrew male, thank you for your consideration, however the only way I could consider exonerating you is if you mitigate your addiction somwhat by playing the only RPG that matters and forgetting all of the others. I, the Lord your God, of course now speak of Iroleplay.net.

Now what the Lord my God doesn’t realize of course is that the site is run entirley by a nutso group of heathens, but don’t tell him I said so. Don’t tell them I said that either for that matter.
Iroleplay.net has been the most singularly unique roleplaying experience I have ever enjoyed on line, and would encourage Rizzn readers to give it a try. The action occurs in four (or more) hour stints usually tuesday and friday night in the IRC based chatroom, Heroes Haven Inn. Incidentally that is the also the in game location where most games start from.

Top 5 Reason’s to play Iroleplay.net

#5 – Great Characters
Avid Rizzn readers are already familiar with some of the wackier ones.

Doidaldi- (the cross dressing giant/would be giantess) is a reason unto himself. This show tune singing twin’s most recent exploits, include selling himself to a group of sailors, and walking bow legged back into the bar. Here is one of his posts on the message boards
“The tall, gorgeous giant of a transvestite urdon turns and walks away defeated once more from ever finding a man that can see past appearances. A tear and sadness plays across his mishapen, but otherwise womanly features as he turns his head toward the moon and sings in a horrible tone def glory: ((in what would anachronistically seem to be the tune of “It’s raining men)) “Somewhere there is a man for me… perhaps out on the open sea My Urdon heart I give freely for the man who loves me for me…” A nearby cat shrieks and dies…”

Zoot- the mentally unstable goblin shaman has his own fashion line that consists entirley of pots and pans strapped to various body parts. There exist hosts of other characters, and please understand that not all of them are over the top. We aim to keep the game believable enough to take seriously. I would encourage any who are interested to check out the message boards to verify this. http://iroleplay.net/viewforum.php?f=15

There are many more worth mentioning, but the grand reason why so many players are so creative with there character concepts, is because characterization is richly rewarded in this game. It is one of the main ways experience is earned. The act of character creation and the process of creativity is cherished among this group. If you feel like you are a creative person than IRP is a home you never knew you had, because you will be playing with nothing but.
#4 -The Adventure
Our GMs are some of the most well established veteran text based Game masters in the world. This wealth of creative, veteran talent has compiled the rules of this game over an eight year period. They have been adapting the system to online play for over a year. Please check out the history section to learn more. http://iroleplay.net/index.php?page=history

I still wonder at some of the brilliant characters and dynamic scenarios my characters have encountered. I will never forget Hannibals barbecue grill. Having retrieved it from the enemy and his horde of angry dingoes, we quickly started it up to cook some griffin meat. We were told that “It’s use had altered the fate of kingdoms”. We should have taken a hint. Expecting permanent stat increases from the consumption of the meat cooked on it, we were not surprised when magical plumes of smoke began belching out. We were shocked when those fumes knocked us all out. We should have died, but thank the gods, we were inside the heavily warded walls of the Heroes Haven inn and the army of Fire elementals that the grill summoned instead decided to burn down every other standing structure in town.

#3 – The Setting
The world of Gwyreth is richly detailed and provides custom reflections for almost all cultural and racial scenarios of this world. I have a middle eastern style character from a region called the scorched lands, there is actually an entire empire not unlike Rome called Folnir. There are also many fantastical environments that have no paralell here on earth. The race and class combinations for your characters are vast at more then 100 possible combinations. These include an array of special classes your character can evolve into. Evolution will happen by happy accident, because qualifications for these classes are entirley secret and depend on how you develop your character (PSST…GMs are accomadating and in game will drop obvious hints to steer you toward your secret class of choice). Skill choices, alignment, in character ambitions, all come into play when determining whether or not your character can evolve to an elite class.

#2 -The addiction
The reason I stopped playing MMORPGs is that I eventually discovered what a consuming and awful thing an addiciton can be. Even if it is just a roleplaying game. Ultimatley, It is depressing and after awhile I lose the joy of the experience. It becomes automatic. One of the most delightful aspects of this game is that it is an addiction that is only fed twice a week. In this regard IRP is a safe, wife + having a life friendly addiction. As much as I would like to I can’t IRP all the time. It is a select occasion that I really look forward to all week.The limitations are a built in restraint to my addiction while at the same time providing a haloe of ritual to the entire thing that has in my many months of playing, never diminished.

And, (very cliche’ drum roll…..)

The NUMBER ONE REASON TO PLAY IRP IS….
Its Free. We need people to play. We really want you to help in developing rich history for the game. A wealth of creative talent will be required in this monumental effort and while we have alot of talent amongst us, we really need more. If you have some interesting character ideas, we want you now! Creative roleplaying provides not only the only characters playing with a good time and a fulfilling experience, but also all of those playing with them get the same. IRP is in the process of transitioning out of Beta. Once out, it will be a paid service. (one time five dollar member for life fee) All of those who help us out in Beta will be free for life, Our little way of saying thankyou.

And the number zero reason that IRP Rocks…

Free Booze.

All members of the Heroe’s Haven Inn are entitled to free room board and drink. If you do decide to play try not to get

your characters plastered before the dragon slaying mission. I am sick and relying on a bunch of drunks to get my back on major baddies.

Thanks for the post Mark! See you in Gwyreth Rizzinites.